Heimat

CHAPTER 19

Night had fallen, bringing with it a blanket of gloom that draped itself over Seokjin. Time an again he sighed, his father's words ringing in his head. He groaned, throwing the needle in his hand to the other side of the room. 

The neatly knit wool came undone, the hard work of the past hour going to waste but Seokjin did not care. Not today at least. Knitting always calmed him, when he was troubled but today was different. No matter what he did, the storm did not dwindle. His insides twisted in worry.

It was easy to make the decision, but he hadn't thought about the consequences. Rejecting the prince would not be that difficult. Had the royal hinted towards any consequences of his actions today? Seokjin kept repeating the entire conversation in his head, looking for any words or gesture that he had used. 

Thankfully he found none, even so, it did little to assure him. Declining him would surely place his family on the less favored side. They weren't of the highest class but their clan had managed to stay away from royal intervention until now.

Coming into the royal family's notice only meant two things. Either the clan was on the good side, or the wrong one. Witnessing the behavior of the royal family's current heir, it was a very unfavorable to end up on the other side. A sudden cold breeze made him shiver, shutting the large window entirely. He knew he it wasn't the best idea to keep the window open, risking in catching a cold however after the conversation with his father, he needed a breather.

He and Jungkook had cuddled in his room for sometime and Seokjin couldn't be more grateful for his presence. He had gone to wish Jungkook good night only to find the boy clinging onto him and refusing to let go. 

Seokjin had relented, laying on Jungkook's bed where they talked for a pretty long time. After ensuring that he was asleep, Seokjin slowed pried off Jungkook's arms that were wrapped around him, blowing out the lamp and slipped out of the room, closing the door carefully behind him, padding silently down the hallway towards his room. No matter how much Jungkook grew up, he would always be a baby for him.

Gathering the strands of wool spread across the floor, he messily shoved them into the box, not caring about the fact that the next time he needed them, it would be a headache to separate them. Standing up, he walked over to the large mirror placed at one end, opening the drawer below it, placing the box inside.

Gazing at him in the mirror, Seokjin noted how different he looked. The once pink cheeks were now pale, shining eyes dull, the smiling lips now set into a small frown. He looked tired. Seokjin wanted nothing more than a good night's sleep and some peace. 

Just a day ago he was humming happily to himself, brushing the long silky strands with utmost care, smiling like an idiot when his image appeared in front of his eyes. How fast it all had happened! 

He hadn't had time to recover from Namjoon words when the prince showed up at his doorstep. It was difficult for him to grasp all of this. No matter how much he loathed what Namjoon did to him, he could not wish for all of this to never happen.

The time he had spent with Namjoon was the time he had been the happiest, the brightest version of himself. The world was even more beautiful, the songs of birds more joyous, the people kinder and the air sweeter.

Seokjin blinked his eyes, furiously rubbing at them to stop crying. Swallowing the lump in his throat he slipped the hanbok off himself. Tying his hair into a bun, he proceeded to wash his face, arms and legs hurriedly, shivering, goosebumps rising when the skin came in contact with the ice cold water. Drying quickly, he took his place in front of mirror again.

Opening his hair, he began to comb them slowly, wincing when the comb stuck between a knot. Freeing it with his fingers, he continued absentmindedly. Flicking them back after finishing, he patted some rose water on his face.