Willa

Chapter Thirty Six: Alberta

"She wanted you to know she's coming to town" Erica reveals, as she holds her steaming mug of coffee between her hands.

"What" I say abruptly, and standing panicked "what do you mean she's coming to town"

"Well if the mountain won't go to Muhammad then Muhammad must go to the mountain" she replies, looking to me over her mug of coffee.

"Oh god... but I'm more of a hill really and she's much too advanced in hiking for me" I say, trying to make light of the situation that is anything but.

"When" I ask.

Erica smiles "today" she beams.

My eyes bulge "today" I repeat.

"Now Willa Jameson, don't you dare run from that girl" Aunt Mary says as she reappears all dressed in scrubs for her shift at the hospital.

"I don't run" i quip "I speed walk" I add "and I wouldn't worry about that... I have way too much of a busy week with the squad to do any laps of the country avoiding her a moment longer... I guess it's time to rip off the band aid" I add, grabbing my backpack and putting on my sun glasses.

***

When I got home from school that day I would open the door and see her there, all but an inch away, her beautiful auburn hair curled lightly, her piercing blue eyes hurriedly taking me in to check on sight of me how I seemed.

I reach for her with a contented smile, and bring her into my arms "hi" I say softly, relieved to finally see her, to have the comfort of her hands around my waist. I try and calm my heart beat.

"Hi" she returns, and she squeezes me tightly.
In that moment, a peace washes over me, part of me returned. It seems for a second, as I inhale her against me, as if my heart beats a little differently against her. The broken in half beat, and off kilter thump I had been nursing for months, the heartbreaking ache, subsiding momentarily.

"I missed you" she whispers, not loosening her grip of me.

We clung to each other, both at a place in life where we had both got a little lost, but as we stood here now, wrapped against each other, the tilt in both of our worlds, it shifted, the ground settled beneath our feet and  everything around us disappeared as a balance was felt. There was no fear of falling anytime soon as long as I'm with you, and you are with me.

"Allie what are you doing here?" I finally ask.

She lets me loose, standing back, her eyes searching mine "Willa I'm worried about you"

I see it in her face, she is quite worried, and I feel terrible. I hadn't called or written. I could see how it was affecting her now, to have her come all this way, to seek out my address and not stop until she was here in front of me. Allie had come to bear witness, to all that was me outside of Utah, to my life, to make sure it was all okay, and to make sure I was okay. It made me feel warm inside, to know that she had moved a few mountains to be here right now, for me.

"I'm sorry I worried you" I confess "I just had to go...and I should have called when I got home... I know it... but Allie I just don't know what to say... so much has changed. I came home from that trip so emotionally broken like all those years of holding it together just blew open all at once. I felt so foolish to have thought they would ever accept me"I confess, and I have to take a moment to breath, holding my side as if I have to work to push the air from my lungs, my face not hiding my anguish at having to think about all that had happened since that trip. I had shut off the communication with my family, lost Morgan, and had to work through the wreckage of my life, trying to find a way forward when all felt a little too heavy, and I, a little too lost.