forty two

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"You're so fucking stupid." Jeongin scolded Hyunjin over the phone the blonde sighing out loud. "Well, I'm sorry. I just...I don't know. How am I supposed to tell him, I.N-ah? It's scary. What if we break up when he learns the truth?"

"You're not going to break up." Hyunjin placed his hand on his hip. "And how do you know that?" Jeongin rolled his eyes, Chan chuckling beside him. "Cause Jin, you guys look at each other with heart eyes. It's so clear that you're in love."

"So what I'm supposed to go up to him and say "hey Seungmin funny story I actually am Heejin's father since we hooked up in high school 6 years ago. Guess I'm back now and I've been knowing for almost a month now but I'm too much of a coward" is that what I'm supposed to say?"

"You're...you're what?" Every single cell and muscle in Hyunjin's body froze and he was so fucking scared to look back. He hung up the phone and slowly turned around, regretting everything when he saw those pesky tears in his boyfriends gorgeous eyes. "Min, I can explain, it's-"

"You're Heejin's other dad?" Seungmin pointed a finger at Hyunjin and the blonde's shoulders slumped. He sighed out and nodded. "Yeah I am." He took a step forward but Seungmin took the same one back.

"When were you going to tell me? Or were you even going to tell me?" Seungmin licked his lips feeling a little betrayed. His boyfriend, the person he confided in, knew about the biggest thing in Seungmin's life and didn't tell him. "I was going to tell you, Min. I swear-"

"For almost a month. Hyunjin you knew how big of a deal this was for me, for Heejin and you decided to keep it to yourself?" This is where Seungmin started to raise his voice scaring Hyunjin. The blonde took in a deep breath. "Seungmin, I swear on everything I was going to tell you I was just waiting for the perfect time-"

"And when is the perfect time in your dictionary? Two years? Five? Ten? Or were you planning on keeping it a secret forever." Hyunjin shook his head not wanting to cry in front of him. Heejin heard the yelling and peeked out from her room.

"Hyunjin I have spent years racking my brain and going through every single memory I had of that night trying to figure out who got me pregnant. I told you how I felt, how important this was to me. I expected you to tell me, you were helping me look for him and you didn't even tell me." Seungmin's bottom lip wobbled, hands going to his hair.

The older was going to speak, but he shut up quickly when Seungmin started again. The brunettes thoughts were all over the place, the voices in his head overlapping confusing him even more. "I think it's best if you leave, Hyunjin. I just need some time to get my head together and come to terms with the new facts."

Hyunjin's eyes got glassy but he didn't say anything, sadly nodding and keeping his head down. "Bye." The taller male said, opening the door and walking away. You really fucked up this time. Tugging on his hair, Hyunjin didn't allow himself to cry until he got to his car.

Sitting down at the driver side, Hyunjin gripped the steering wheel feeling the liquid burn his eyes until he let them free. Resting his forehead on the steering wheel, Hyunjin softly sobbed. He messed up everything.

Why didn't you just tell him? You just had to be stupid and keep it a secret, Hyunjin. His phone rang but the blonde ignored it too busy scolding himself.

"Papa. Why were you yelling at daddy?" Heejin asked frowning even deeper seeing the crystal tears decorating his father's eyes and face. Seungmin wiped his tears and held out his arms for Heejin. "Did you guys have a fight?"

"No my love. It wasn't a fight, we were just discussing something." Heejin held onto Seungmin's shirt. "Is daddy going to come back?" Seungmin sighed holding onto her small frame.

"Yeah, sweetie he's coming back. Just not now." She pouted. "Jin, you know how you call Hyunjin daddy?" She nodded. "What if..he was your actual daddy? Would you like that?"

"Of course papa. I love Daddy jinnie. But papa.." she frowned again. "Why would he leave after a fight papa? He said he would never leave us alone." Seungmin's heart dropped to his stomach and he blinked away the incoming tears.

"Baby, he's not leaving for good. He...he'll be back tomorrow okay."

"But you were mad at him papa. You were yelling."

"Sometimes adults fight but they make up okay?" Heejin was reluctant but she nodded her head hugging Seungmin. "Okay papa." Seungmin sighed and rested his chin atop her head.

She wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes leaving her papa with a thousand thoughts. But even through everything, Seungmin was a little bit sad and regretted yelling at his boyfriend.

Sure, he was mad and hurt that he didn't find out sooner but he didn't want to leave Hyunjin. Heejin loved him too much and to be honest so did Seungmin.

His head hit the back of the couch and the puppy boy sighed out for the umpteenth time closing his eyes. He couldn't sleep tonight. Not after all of the drama. Plus, he got used to his boyfriend arms around him and if he attempted, it would just be him tossing and turning all night.

Seeing Heejin fast asleep, he carefully got up and placed her in her bed, covering her so she doesn't get cold. Going back to the living room, he reached for the wine on the top cupboard and grabbed a glass.

"Oh great. I'm becoming a wine mom." He whispered and poured some in the glass. Sighing out loud, Seungmin took a sip of the alcohol and checked Heejin's door one time. Deeming that his daughter was fast asleep, Seungmin finished the glass and poured himself another one.

One by one, glass after glass his tears poured out and he started questioning wether it was necessary to kick him out.

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a/n: that fucking sucked but at least he knows now

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