How to stitch wounds

13. Love

Micheal POV

It's been two days since I've started living Nathan. Besides the occasional temper tantrum from Rose, everything has been peaceful and calm. How I've missed the feeling of peace.

Jason and Nathan picked up Shia yesterday and they plan on telling us what their surprise is tonight over dinner.

"Micheal?"
Nathan's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I hadn't realized I was daydreaming, something I've been doing a lot lately.
"Sorry, did you say something?" I ask nervously.
"Yea, Shia and Jase want us downstairs." He laughs uncomfortably.

Ever since he told me, he liked me and wanted to some day be more than friends, I didn't know how to act around him. Of course I have a crush on him and have had it for years, but how would I even start. Out of nowhere, would I just tell him, maybe tell his older brother and get advice from him? I don't know.

We both walk downstairs where the entire family was, sitting on the couch and floor, while Shia and Nathan were standing in front of them.

"It's not a pregnancy scare, we've figured out that much." Mr. Shueler laughs.

I sit down on the floor and try to distance myself from everyone else, Nathan sitting down beside me.

"So, as you know. Me and Shia have a surprise for everyone." Nathan starts.
"But we couldn't wait until after dinner so..."
Shia says happily, a big smile on her face.
"We're getting married!" They say together.

Mr and Mrs. Shueler stare at the couple for a moment before the information actually processes in their brains.

Rose squeals with delight as she runs to hug Shia who picks her up, happily hugging her back. Jeremiah walks over to Jason and starts punching him in the arm.
"Bout frickin time!" He shouts happily. Both parents hug the happy couple and I couldn't help but smile at the sweet interaction.

Nathan nudges my shoulder, causing me to look at him.
"You're invited to the wedding, ya know." He says with a smirk.
"I don't have anything to wear, it's best I don't come." I say with a small smile.
"Bullshit, you're coming! If I gotta dress up, so are you!" He says with a chuckle.

I nod in an attempt to avoid an argument. I was never good with confrontation to begin with. After the news, everyone decided to eat out at a fancy restaurant. I declined because I knew there would be a lot of people, and Nathan being Nathan, said he would stay with me.

For a while, it was awkward silence as we watched movies that neither of us were paying attention to. The tv ended up being more of a background noise.

"Nathan?" I asked nervously, getting his attention.
"What?"
"A few nights ago, when you said you- you wanted to be more than f-friends."
What am I doing? This is stupid. I should shut up now while I still have the chance.
I mentally yelled at myself.
I had his full attention now and I could feel my face burning up.

"I w-want to be m-more than friends, too. I-I've never really h-had the chance t-to date before. I-I didn't think you even like me."
I mumbled.

"How could someone not like you? You're kind and respectful. You are an amazing person." My heart began to race, but it wasn't bad. Not like every time I was scared and expecting the worst. It was a happy feeling, something that filled me with anticipation and joy.

Just kiss him. Was the only thought running through my brain, and almost as if he knew,
Nathan leaned forward so that we were just centimeters apart. We were so close that I could feel his breath on my face. We stared into each others eyes. It was only then that I noticed he had heterochromia. One of his eyes were green and the other was a bright blue. It was so unique and different. It was beautiful. I envied his body and face. He was so handsome.

That's when every bad thought infiltrated my brain. Every happy emotion I was feeling was now being drowned in self doubt.

I don't deserve him. I'll just hurt him. My mother didn't care about me, why would he?

"I love you." He whispered into my ear.
I didn't deserve to hear those words. They were almost like a curse.
Tears began to fill my eyes. The last person who said that, left me for a better life. Left me with an abusive father who blamed everything on me and used me for his own pleasure.

He's just going to use me.
That thought broke me. How could I ever be loved by someone like Nathan. He deserved so much better than me, and I wasn't going to be blamed for it.

"You c-can't."
I quickly got up and went upstairs. I started packing my things as fast as I could, wanting nothing more than to leave. I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. It was the same hand that comforted me during my breakdowns and panic attacks. The same one who woke me from nightmares when I couldn't save myself. I turned around and felt soft lips on mine. I was engulfed in the armor of love that surrounded this boy. This boy that I wanted nothing more than to love me. I melted into his touch and my hands dropped whatever I was holding.

Anything and everything in this moment didn't matter, just the boy in front of me me did. How could he love something so broken, so used and wasted. Maybe none of those things mattered to him.

The kiss was passionate and full of love. A feeling I wanted but was always deprived of. Someone was finally giving it to me and as much as I wanted push away, my body refused.
I began to kiss back, feeling the heat run through my body. That electric feeling lighting up my nerves.