You Destroyed Me {Cold War AU (Countryhumans)}

Not the Only One (Chapter 8)

"You see this, America?" Soviet's voice addressing him by name made the American visibly flinch. How did Soviet know he was watching? Did he just assume it? "I'm willing to go to these measures, this pain, to erase you. I don't feel safe with you alone having atomic weapons. Now... I don't have to worry. I'm willing to subject Kazakhstan and myself to this, conducting atomic weapon tests in my own territory just to know I can defend myself from you and that I can... defeat you." Soviet gave the camera a pleasant smile, Russia was looking back at the remanence of smoke from the explosion and no longer standing like a soldier, Moldova was crying as she stared at Kazakhstan being forced to stand by Soviet, and Kazakhstan looked nearly unconscious, soft whimpers occasionally passing his lips.

Not long after did the camera turn off, only to be replaced by a stream of ads. Countries around the table, nearly simultaneously, turned to America. Britain stood up and pressed the power button on the television, the black and white screen flicking off with a soft crack to become a reflective black screen. 

America glanced around at the pressing gaze of the other countries there staring at him unblinkingly and immediately bit his lip. Hard. Soft skin broke and a thin trail of blood made it's way out of America's bottom lip and down his chin. He was determined to show as little emotion to this as possible, he needed to start keeping up a better reputation with how important he was becoming, how many eyes were always on him. But... emotions were never his strong suit. And he always blamed the same country for his cluelessness with feelings.

He threw the pen that he hadn't noticed was in his hand down onto the table and trudged over to Britain, who was still standing beside the television, wiping the blood on his chin away with the back of his hand as he moved. As America neared the British man, the European started to back away, making a sound of surprise as the collar of his suit was grabbed harshly, causing him to cough a little. 

"Why couldn't you have taught me how to deal with shit like this?" America demanded, voice merely a low growl. "You could've taught me something useful, but no! You only wanted to teach me how to make you fucking rum so you could drink away and enjoy yourself all day! Every day!" America continued, beginning to yell. "You killed my natives, you made me a country when I didn't want to be, you forced me to keep slaves and factored into my civil war, you burned my Whitehouse and turned Canada against me, you taxed me money I didn't have just because of your stupid, pointless wars, you-"

"I'm sorry, I-" Britain trembled out, but got interrupted almost immediately.

"No! 'I'm sorry this, I'm sorry that!' You're always sorry! But what's done is done!" America shouted, shoving Britain backwards, away from him, and turning around to storm off when a smaller country stopped him. France. His gaze almost immediately softened when he saw her and did even more as her slim arms encircled him.

"What's wrong dear?" France pried gently, even though she already knew what was wrong. She knew it was good for America to get it off his chest. 

America cringed and looked down at France for a moment before carefully hugging her back and closing his eyes, lines of stress creasing his facial features. "...I don't want to die." He whispered after a reluctant minute. "If I die, what'll happen to my people? I can't do that to them... I just can't." America sighed softly, opening his eyes that were no longer filled with boiling anger. "I don't want to be doing this here, I don't want to be so weak in front of everyone. I wish I understood emotions." He continued to whisper.

"We can talk more after the meeting then, dear." France replied, nodding in understanding. She felt America release her so she did as well, taking a step back and looking up at the taller country. "I don't want to push you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, okay? Go on and sit down, don't feel pressed to say anything else the rest of the meeting." America nodded slowly, looking tired, and turned around, flinching when he saw that Britain was now in front of him.