Love, Curvy | 18+

F O R T Y T W O

X

He was out. Got a call and then told me that he'd see me tonight. Didn't even wait for breakfast.

I can't do this to Harvey. I don't know what he did but the way Nick says it, I know it's pretty bad. Even though it's hard to imagine. It makes me see him differently now. A darker way that I'm not okay with.

I need to end this. To protect me from heartbreak. I want to end us with him as the gentleman I know. Not something entirely else. And it has to be today.

What am I gonna tell him the reason?

I sleep with your step-brother? It was true but it stings to say it out loud.

There was no love between us anymore? That is stupid. I've seen the way he looks at me. The way he smiles at me. It's impossible to think that or to even say that.

I've grown to love someone else? That hurts even more. That hurts me so how can I even say that to him?

We need a break? Yeah, very original, Lana.

I don't wanna be with you anymore? Stupid, Lana.

I'm pressing pause on us because I wanna test this out? Test what out? The only test you need is a brain test for sure, Alana.

I've found someone else? That is me announcing to him that I've been cheating on him for a long time.

Maybe the words will come out when I say it. They'll be bad no matter how much I try to sugar coat it. The truth is the truth. And he deserves to know every bit of it. Harvey deserves to know the truth. I'm not a cheater and I won't let myself ever be one.

Tonight he has to know.

X

I muster up all my courage. Gather all my strength for this.

I walked in through the door after putting in the passcode and there he was. Sitting on his couch with the laptop in his lap, typing something. He looks at me and smiles. Kept the laptop on the table and ran to me. I don't even have time to say hi when I'm being grabbed and being kissed roughly. His lips were soft and pressed roughly on mine. A smile spreads on them as we kiss. He says "You won't believe what happened." I make a strange sound, trying my best to ask him. He shakes his head "Later. Let me have you first." Pressing me against the wall, he trails kisses down to the neck and I'm giving up on it. I'm giving up on telling him to stop. But I came back to reality when I feel him pull down the zip of my jacket.
Pressing my hands on his chest, I say "Pause. Just for a while, okay?" It was a lie. He smiles and nods, holding my hand and pulling me towards his laptop.

I sit on the couch and he keeps the laptop on my lap. An email opened on the screen. He says "Read it." He kneels on the floor and watched my reaction as I read into it.

It was from Mr. Hutchinson. He was ready to do business with Blackstone Inc.

My eyes go wide "This is great!" He laughs, pulling me into a hug "I'm so happy right now, Lana! We did it." He kisses the corner of my lips and looks at the email again "I can't believe this is real." This weighed him down for a long time. He was trying his hardest to save jobs at the company and this was the only way. It was a long shot and he didn't give up on it. It took him a lot of time and patience to get one to meet with the company's CEO.

I smiled in sadness for the first time. I noticed that he lost a little weight. His features were sharp before but they were sharper now. He hadn't been getting sleep either except for when I was with him, in his arms.

Maybe I shouldn't do this. Not now.

No, whatever I do, I need to come clean with him.

When he catches me looking at him this way, he keeps the laptop back on the table. Long forgotten his paid off hard work. His hands on my knees "What's wrong, Lana?" I have to come out. Tell him straight. Rip the bandage off no matter how much it hurts.
I say, "I'm not a cheater, Harvey." His brows furrowed behind his glasses. When I don't speak anymore, realization sets in him. And I still say it out loud "I cheated on you." He gulps "Was it recently?" I nod.