eternally; txt oneshots

#today_the_sky_is_so_pretty

relationships: choi yeonjun/ choi beomgyu

"saw the sunset without you today." beomgyu whispers slowly to yeonjun. "missed you."

_''>>

wrong.

some thing has been utterly wrong ever since yeonjun has woken up in the morning. he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, for instance. and no, it isn't something as stupid as that. yeonjun can feel it. like something is going to go wrong. something in the air was off, but he cannot point it out. cannot point out what it is.

so he decides to keep a low profile for the day. he gets out of bed slowly, as if not to anger the heavy presence of evil spirits around him. no, there were no evil spirits around. yeonjun just felt a little low in his heart.

i'd get over it by the day of the day , he promises himself, as he steps into the bathroom. he stares at his skin-care products and then back into the mirror. he knows he looks shit the first thing in the morning. he knows he has to choose between the two in his hand. his eyes study both hands, and their contents. he knows he has to choose between the two in his hand. he knows. he knows what he should choose.

even then, yeonjun puts what he requires away from his own judgmental eyesight. the last time he touched it , or even thought of using it was three months ago. yeonjun couldn't bring down what he calls three months of progress just like that. because he had a hunch for bad things today.

it's okay, he tells himself, i'll skip it this time. i don't need it.

yeonjun walks into the bath hesitantly. the feeling of water dripping down his hair has never felt any worse to him. he's aware, he can try and feel better now- only if it weren't for his big ego. he turns around to find the disregarded bottle and his hand itch to reach out to it. his brain declines the offer. it isn't for this moment, he thinks, before allowing the warm water to drown himself.

it's a dull feeling in his heart, his mind that he feels so deeply. every sign of him being a happy human from yesterday has just, vanished.

he fills in a deep sigh in his lungs. it's a good day he tells himself. you're just making it worse by over thinking it.

yeonjun wishes that he's just overthinking it, because he doesn't want to deal with anything wrong happening in his life at this point of time. till yesterday, he was content with life. and tomorrow, he will be happy again. it's just today, that he has to deal with. the day has barely begun. it's funny how yeonjun wishes for the day to be completely over already.

he grabs his phone, and looks through messages. some need to be answered, and some to be left unanswered. not everyone yeonjun talked to important, anyway. but one. choi beomgyu. yeonjun's day goes futile if he doesn't have his daily dose of beomgyu. it's a necessity.

but today, even beomgyu seems like a burden on his head. yeonjun swiftly ignores beomgyu's 'good morning >3<' message, and moves on to the next. realizing that he wouldn't answer any of those messages he puts his phone away. maybe that was the best decision from the start. yeonjun feels a sense of guilt bubble up in his chest. he shouldn't ignore beomgyu. he knows how sensitive beomgyu gets. yeonjun knows very well that beomgyu requires an affirmation, and he needs to see that yeonjun's alive.

but he's not. he feels dead. but because yeonjun doesn't feel anything good about this particular morning itself, he doesn't reply to beomgyu. guilt, sure- he's taking up another emotion upon himself- but he doesn't mean to be fake.

if i don't think as much as i am right now, i'll get through this.

yeah.

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