My secret lives

Chapter 40

I'm begging now

I'm begging to anyone- to anything but no one is listing.

I want to wake up

I need to wake up

I can't keep doing this

I can't stay in this darkness anymore

I need to do something.

I'm trying to scream

I'm hearing nothing and everything at once

I hear screaming and beeping and nothing and- and-...

And so so much- too much

This is too much

I can't breathe

I'm not breathing

I can't move, I can't do anything as slowly everything starts to fade

Then I'm out

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I'm opening my eyes for what feels like the first time in years.

It's too bright in here.

I blink a few times.

I can't breathe

Something...there's something stopping me from breathing.

I slowly try to move and I actually can.

I stifle a pained cry when I try to sit up.

People immediately rush to my side but everything is too blurry.

I can't make out who is who.

I don't know if the people holding me up are doctors, my brothers or nurses.

I can't breathe

I can't

My hands fly up to my throat.

Tears form in my eyes as I'm being pushed down again.

It's being done gently but I'm freaking out.

I'm kicking and trying to scream but I can't even breathe.

Someone grabs my face, I can't see the person.

I can't make out a face, it's blurry.

Just color.

The person's talking, I don't hear anything except for my body screaming at me to breathe.

To get air in.

And I try but it's not working.

I'm seeing black dots again as my mouth is being opened.

The person changes.

I look to the side finding more comfort in looking at that person.