Cycle of Pain [Uchiha Itachi]

SPECIAL CHAPTER

"You don't have to feel obliged Kakashi, after all everything was my fault. You shouldn't bother yourself on me and just go" I told him casually making the level of his frustration rose. "Now leave. You are the Hokage. Everyone is expecting you today." 

"I won't leave you alone. Not today, never Aki." He sternly hissed, balling his fist to ease up his anger. "Aki... please. I know you're in pain. We both dreamt of having a child. You are not the only who's hurting so please... don't isolate yourself love. I am here, we can always talk this out. You have me. Your husband." 

I thought he'll proceed on getting angry but I am surprised. He was still thinking of me despite of me, ruining his dream, his wonderful dream. 

I held his cheeks with a blurry eyes. Thumbs wiping his fallen tears, I released a small painful smile. "Do you regret loving me?" 

He removed his mask and his band to lock his gaze on me. He shook his head. "I do not regret loving you. But I do regret for expecting a lot from you. It was my me who pained me, not you, not your body... myself alone. My love for you was far, too far to imagine, enough to conceal the pain, Aki. And it hurts me seeing you destroy yourself for me. It hurts me hearing you say sorry for not being able to conceive a child. It wasn't your fault, Aki." 

"It was." I insisted. "If I only have taken care of myself better, I wouldn't be... you shouldn't be hurting like this, you shouldn't be crying now... Kakashi! It was my fault... I am so sorry, I'm sorry my love... forgive me." I shouted. 

"How could I let my lovely wife suffer like this?" He mumbled, finally embracing me in his loving arms. "It wasn't your fault love. Even if you can't conceive a child, nothing will ever change. My love for you wouldn't change no matter what. For years of being married to you, time couldn't penetrate my love, Aki. And this kind of matter was as simple as it looks like. Yes it did hurt me since I have dreamt of being a father but it eased up soon since I have you. You're all that I need whenever I feel like I'm losing myself.  You made me a father of Naruto when he was still a child. A father to Sasuke and Sakura. It was enough Aki. You're doing enough for me already and you being with my arms again - I am contented." He genuinely said. "I couldn't ask for more but only you. You are my strength so having you like this, weakened me a lot my love. So please, do not blame yourself. We can always do things together. I love you."

How dare I bagged a man like him? Do I deserve this? He deserves my love but do I deserve his? Kakashi was just too much for me that I couldn't ask for more. He was enough, he was the tranquility that I've been waiting for. 

"I love you Kakashi." Is all I could say and offer because I know that one day, I will also leave you alone in this painful and harsh world of reality. 

( - _ - )

It was winter when Kakashi and I decided to take a vacation. We didn't go off the village, we just stay inside the house, watching how the snow falls from above. Back leaning on his chest while his was on the couch. Arms wrapped around my waist as if he's scared that I might fall and meet the cold ground. 

"Kashi." I called softly, snuggling gently on his arms as I felt cold. He hummed, "are you happy with me?" I asked, surprising him. 

I don't know why'd I ask that but I could only think of one thing. His arms tightened around my waist, he even fixed the cloth that was enveloped around us, preventing the cold to reach us. I felt him kissed the side of my head, making me close my eyes to feel him more.