"Sonder - noun. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own - populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness - an epic story that continues invisibly around you...
The very three words that Amiré has shut out of his life because he did not believe he was worthy of them. The real truth of why he struggles with accepting his feelings. Hearing it caused him to feel mixed emotions because love has been a stranger to him since he's lost his mother. She was the one person who loved him so much, she sacrificed her whole life for him. She loved him more than she loved himself.
Love is dangerous.
Love is scary.
Love is uncontrollable.
Love is frustrating.
And he is frustrated, because he hates that he loved her too.
"Amiré a-are you okay?" Taivon questioned, noticing the tears forming in his eyes.
He shut his eyes and took a deep breathe, trying his hardest to ignore the voices in his head that were telling him to run. The voices that act as bodyguards protecting his heart. The voices that tell him love was a distraction and would only cause him more pain.
His eyes opened at the feel of her soft hands against his face, forcing him to look at her.
"I know that you choose to believe that someone like you cannot receive love and that's fair. But from the moment that we made eye contact, you have made me feel a way that I've never felt before Amiré. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about you. I should run away from you and yet all I want to do is run towards you. And I want you to run towards me. I know you are not a saint or perfect, but damn it neither am I. I have abandonment issues, I am afraid to be alone, I get anxiety just thinking about a life without someone else in it. I feel like I'm begging and pleading but I don't care— stop running from me."
He quickly leaned down and smashed his lips against hers, pulling her body into his. She whimpered against his lips, sliding her arms around his neck as her knees grew weak. Amiré grabbed the back of her thighs to keep her steady, lifting her up slightly as his tongue began exploring her mouth. He moved his hands to her cheeks and squeezed, forcing a moan out of her mouth.
Taivon was close to just giving in like she normally would but she stopped kissing him and placed her hands against his chest. " I-I said n-no sex Amiré." She successfully pushed him away and shook her head, "I meant it. You cannot keep hiding behind sex to avoid what needs to be said. I'm not asking you to say it I just want you to stop pretend—"
"I-I love you too." He whispered silently.
Taivon stopped talking as her eyes went wide. She didn't expect for him to actually say it. "W-what did you say?"
"I—" He started but stopped himself, taking a deep breathe. "Shit I'm sorry."
She teared up and smiled softly, reaching forward to grab his hands. She took a step toward him and stared up into his eyes. "It's okay. Just take your time okay? The fact that you're even trying tells me a lot Amiré. I know how you feel, I see it in the way that you look at me. I see it in the way you look at our son, you are more capable of receiving and giving love than you know."
He pressed his forehead against hers as he found himself lost in her eyes, lost in her whole world. He wanted to give himself to her completely and surrender to her love.
"I just want you to myself baby." He whispered.
"You got me," She whispered back, smiling again. "And as frustrating as it is, that'll never change. I just need to accept that love might be easy, but loving you is not." She joked, playfully rolling her eyes.
He laughed and shook his head, finding that hilarious because it was true. He was difficult in so many ways that even he did not understand how she could put up with it. And she had his baby. This girl truly did love him because she is still trying to work with him even though he doesn't deserve it. Taivon is an Angel, she is light, and most importantly she is his heart. She is his love.
And she deserves to know it.
"I love you too Taivon," He said loud and clearly, feeling his heart finally come free.
Her eyes lit up as she squeezed his hands. "Really?!"
He nodded his head, leaning down to peck her lips softly. "I am in love with you."
"Oh my God," She whined, feeling herself about to cry. "You actually said ittt." She pouted, burying her face into his chest to let it out. He just chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly.
"I really do love yo annoying ass woman."
She didn't care as she held onto him tightly, feeling happiness overcome her. She was just happy that he finally let her in. "I love you more." She closed her eyes and smiled happily, inhaling his cologne.
He closed his eyes and began rocking them, rubbing her back in small circles. He was happy too, finally being able to admit his true feelings. He was done fighting her, she won. She was the peace he didn't even know he needed. But now she was the peace he now knows he wants.
"You was deadass about us not being able to have sex?" He mumbled after a few minutes and all Taivon could do is start laughing.
Amiré was trouble, but he was her trouble.
•••••
Chapter 16. ❤️🔥
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