"Sonder - noun. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own - populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness - an epic story that continues invisibly around you...
He knew that if Mariya hadn't been here, he wouldn't even in his own room. He'd be in hers, likely taking her body in every space that he could. As crazy it might sound, he loved making her cum because every time he made her cum, he saw into her soul.
Isaíah entered his mind next, bringing a smile to his face. He was living proof of the connection Taivon and him had. The second he laid eyes on him he knew that was his son, he just needed to hear it come out of her mouth. For the first time since he watched the police drag his mother away, his heart ached. It hurt. He was felt like the same little terrified boy, weak, having no fight inside of him. He was worried that God had mocked him and gave him a son, knowing the relationship he had with his own father.
Amiré was terrified that Isaíah was his karma. That if anyone was to finally take his breathe away and get pay back for all the lives he's taken, it would be his own son. Because he'd die for him in a heartbeat.
A laugh left his lips as he threw his head back, running his hand down his face. He was a damn joke. The universe had to be laughing at him. He legit tried everything in his power to push Taivon away, just for him to not only get her pregnant, but end up working with her damn brother in law. Now he was stuck with her forever, he couldn't run anymore.
Either this was extremely coincidental or there was some divine intervention going on. It was like the universe was telling him to stop fighting it's efforts for their souls to connect, and finally give in. Amiré and Taivon were magnets in every room they were in together, completely drawn to each other.
It was going to be that way forever, and there wasn't anything he could do about it.
He lifted his head back up and shook it as realization of his situation hit him hard. "I-I never stood a fucking chance." He breathed out.
>>>>
He reentered the room, holding the towel around his waist. He still didn't say a word to Mariya as he walked over to his bag, looking for something comfortable to put on. She huffed loudly and he paused what he was doing to look back at her, to see she was already looking at him.
"You slept with her didn't you?" She asked, cutting her eyes at him.
His eyes dropped to the bed as he licked his lips, not even having the energy to deny it. He had slept with her and he had no regrets.
She just scoffed and shook her head, knowing that was his answer. "Amiré if you love that girl why wont you just go be with her?"
His face scrunched up, shocked to hear those words leave her mouth. "Huh?"
"I saw the way that you looked at her when she came to dinner. It was all in your face, you love that girl. When you left me today I realized that you've just been using me to ignore the fact she has yo heart. And you know it's fine, I'm not hurt because truthfully I've been using you too. I just unfortunately caught feelings for you, which was a huge mistake because you told me from the start not too."
He rolled his eyes. "I told her that too."
"Clearly you didn't tell yourself that though."
He smacked his lips. "Thats bullshit. I been heartless since my momma died."
"And yet here we are," She chuckled, shaking her head at him. "Me doing something I would never do, by telling you to go and be with another girl. I knew that battle was lost soon as I saw she had your baby. Amiré never slips up with females and the fact that you got her pregnant, told me everything I needed to know. You don't trust people, but you trust her."
He just sighed and turned back around, pulling out his boxers and putting them on. He didn't have anything to say as he continued getting dressed, sliding his white t shirt over his head.
"Why are you so damn difficult Amiré?"
"Because I don't wanna hurt her!" He snapped, not because he was angry but because he was frustrated. "I don't know if I'll be able to love her the way that she deserves. I'm afraid that if I do end up falling in love with her, I'll do something that'll end with me losing her. Every single person that I've loved I have hurt. I killed my own father Riya," He admitted out loud for the first time. "And soon after I lost my momma because she took the fall for what I did. I ruined their lives."
Rita's eyes widened a little, not expecting to learn this fact about Amiré. "Oh—"
"I'm a terrible person." His voice softened, thinking about everything that he's done. "Ain't no coming back from the shit that I've done."
Riya shook her head. "Amiré you're a thug. That's what comes with the life that you chose! That don't mean you have to walk around this earth the rest of yo life lonely and heartless. Your sins don't stop you from being human! I'm sure she isn't clueless to the shit that you do, but it's not up to you to decide for her. You one of the realest niggas I've ever met and yet when it comes to her you acting like a bitch."
His face scrunched up. "Aye chill out."
"Nah you need to hear this from somebody who ain't afraid to tell you how it is. You don't think everyone is afraid to fall in love? That shìt comes with a lot of uncertainty. But the whole part of falling in love is doing it with somebody you trust enough to not hurt you. And you trust her! You share a whole child with her!"
He bit his tongue, leaning against the dresser. He was letting her words sink into his mind.
"Amiré if you truly love her, you just gotta trust that she'll make the right decision on what's best for her. All you gotta do is go and put the ball in her court and accept whatever she chooses. All you gotta do is give her a chance."
He chuckled to himself. "You make it sound so easy."
"That's because it is." She shrugged, lookin back down at her phone. "Now pack ya things and get out of my hotel room. The baddest bitch you'll ever meet is choosing herself. Good luck."
He looked at her like she was crazy. "You kicking me out of the room I paid for?!"
She smirked at him. "Yup. Just cause this little affair is over doesn't mean I'm not about to enjoy the rest of my solo vacation. What Bia say? I'm on islands whippen them Porsches, run shit and your nigga endorse it." She rapped before busting out laughing.
"So you was just using me for my money?" He smirked back and she pointed her finger at him.
"You already knew that, the dick was just an added on bonus." She winked at him.
•••••
Chapter 15. 🤍
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Alright I'm going to sleep now 😮💨 toodles. This weather got a bitch sickkkk.
