Revulsion [zm au]

Thirty Seven

I frowned even more, "Well with that attitude it won't be easy at all."

He sighed loudly this time, almost in annoyance.

"You wouldn't understand." he blurted.

I stayed silent for a moment suddenly embarrassed. I had grown up in a society where going to college was easy for the majority. My class had money and connections, so there really were no obstacles to overcome. I was completely ignorant to Zayn's situation.

He wasn't rich, nor did his family have any sort of title. His chances of going to school were actually very slim.

"You're right," I muttered, "I'm sorry....I must sound like such a-"

Zayn grabbed my face and gave me a gentle smile.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have snapped."

I shook my head with a frown.

"No, you should snap at me. I'm here just acting as though life is grand and easy because that's the way I was raised completely oblivious to your situation." I explained feeling the guilt begin to eat me up.

Zayn suddenly leaned away from me, giving me a strange look.

"My situation?" his tone was bordering bitterness.

My face flushed, "Yeah..." I mumbled quietly.

He gave me a gentle shove so I was no longer leaning on him and stood up.

I jumped up straight after him already forming an apology in my head.

"Zayn I didn't mean-"

He shook his head, "So what is my situation Elizabeth?"

The venom in his tone made me clamp my mouth shut. I didn't mean to offend him.

My cheeks burned in shame.

"Zayn please-"

"No, please do tell me." his voice was louder now.

I turned away from him.

"You're poor which means that your life is probably much more difficult than mine will ever be." I explained slowly.

He stayed silent. I looked over at him. He quickly looked away, his jaw clenching.

"You won't have opportunities that me or Aria or even Liam will have. And I realize that I've been oblivious...and I apologize for not being considerate." I finished softly.

I knew my words had burned him.

He shuffled his feet before looking back at me, his eyes shining.

My chest tightened at how hurt he looked.

"You're right, so maybe it's better if we go our separate ways now."

I gasped, "What? No, no, that's not what I wanted. I-I-"

He shook his head and turned around.

"Zayn no wait! Please!" I quickly walked after him, grabbing the back of his shirt.

"Stop, please. I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean to hurt you. You told me to explain-"

He whipped around, my hand releasing the grip on his shirt.

His eyes were really watering now.

"Let's be honest here Elizabeth, we have no future. You and I? We'd never work. Your family and friends would never accept me. I'm nothing but worthless scum that cleans their shoes for them." he hissed.

Suddenly my cheeks grew wet. I quickly wiped my face and tried to pull myself together.

"No, no you're so much more!" I said loudly, my voice cracking.

He shook his head, almost in defeat.

"Yes you are. To me you are!" I grabbed his face but he pulled away from me.

"Zayn, please...I love you so much. Don't leave me..." I knew I sounded horribly desperate, but I would not be able to stand the loneliness if he left.

He refused to look me in the eye as he spoke.
"We knew we'd have to separate eventually." He stated with no emotion.

I felt my body go numb as he began to walk away from me. His departure was so abrupt that it left me feeling stunned.
"Zayn..." I murmured, tears trailing down my cheeks. How could a perfect day end so terribly?

~~~
I sit on the bar of the diner, a vanilla milkshake in front of me. I trace my finger along the glass. Condensation taking its course as the glass surface begins to sweat.
"You gonna be okay sweetheart?" The waitress asks me gently.
I give a small nod in return.
She hesitates before slowly walking away.
I sigh, my cheeks sticky from my dried tears. Gosh I must look horrible.

Suddenly a voice came from behind me, loud and deep.
"Why do you look so down, love?"