Dive into the world before and after of WW II. Feel, how it was. Get a better understanding while enjoying Maria's adventure. 17y old Maria del Carmen Gonzales from Mexico, wants to make something out of her life, rather than only being someone in t...
"Before you kill me! I have 1000 packets of cigarettes in the back of the Jeep and I have a 200 liter barrel of beer in an aircraft parked in Tempelhof. That is about 50 gallons of German beer, but I need help to transport it here. This all to buy me forgiveness", I pleaded.
In no time I was surrounded by 12 grim looking guys. If looks could kill... The Master Sergeant looked into the back of the Jeep and yelled: "Tony, bring a knife!" A minute later, he held a knife in his hand and opened one of the boxes. His face expressed doubt, seeing the German cigarettes. He took one packet out of the box, opened it and handed it around for everyone to pick a cigarette. As I did not smoke I had no idea, if those cigarettes would be as good as the Lucky Strikes or not consumable at all? In the later case, I feared to get beaten to death with wrenches, which was also called wrenching. Soon most of the mechanics had a burning fag in their mouth and the Master Sergeant asked: "Guys, bare in mind, we had to cope with the stench for four full days. Now, what is your verdict?"
One of the mechanics spoke up: "The cigarettes are good and I suggest to postpone the punishment, until we have tasted the beer."
"So you think, we should take the risk of sending a truck into the wastelands of Berlin solely based upon the promises of this woman, who had tortured us with her dark, necrophile machinations", the Master Sergeant asked?
The same mechanic came again: "I believe, the risk of sending a truck into the wastelands of Berlin is a lot less than the risk of 50 gallons of German beer getting poured down the wrong gobs."
"OK! Mike, you take a truck and go with her to Tempelhof. If the 50 gallons of beer should turn out to be a ruse, bind her, gag her and bring her here for lashing."
More than 3 hours later, Mike and I arrived back at the Engineering Corps with the 200l barrel tied to the back of the truck. With a crane, they lifted the barrel from the truck and set it up on a trolley. The Master Sergeant looked at the big barrel a bit dumbfounded and asked me: "So how do we get beer out of this thing?"
"Well, the brewery told me, you have to drive this valve into that hole with the hammer, then you can tap beer from the valve", I repeated, what I had gotten told yesterday.
The Master Sergeant looked at me, then looked at the valve and looked at the barrel and commanded: "You do it!"
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Easy peasy! I held the valve to the puncture spot at the barrel and hit it with the hammer, the way they had showed me. My first hit with the hammer was too weak --- nothing happened. My second hit with the hammer drove the valve in, but suddenly a lot of beer squirted out of the barrel and all over me. Surprised by this unexpected turn of things, I needed a second to come up with a proper counter action. My frontal cortex advised me to hit the valve again and this time even harder. OK, that worked now, no more beer poured out on the sides, however, I was soaked wet and smelled like ten drunkards and all of the mechanics laughed. With a broad smile on his lips, the Master Sergeant commanded: "Tony, bring glasses!"
A couple of minutes later, Tony came with a tray full of glasses and the Master Sergeant tapped beer for everyone. As he filled the first glass of beer, the pressure was still high, so that the beer came right out on the other side of the glass and made him pretty wet. The rest of the mechanics, including me laughed. With the next glasses, he opened the tab of the valve more carefully.
"Sergeant, I have to admit, this beer is excellent", one of the mechanics said and the rest agreed with him.
"Well, I fear, we have to forgive you then", the Master Sergeant mused.
"So can I get the remaining vehicles then", I asked.
"Yes you can!"
"Ok, I'll pick them up in the next couple of days."
It was time to go home and when I arrived at the women's quarters, all I wanted was to pick a big towel, go to the bathroom, wash myself and go back to my room to sleep. As if she was smelling me, right when I passed by her room on my way to the shower, Amanda come out. Looking at me with a disgusted face, she wanted to know: "Where have you been? You smell like 10 drunkards and you are wet all over?"
"Well, I delivered a big barrel of beer to the Engineering Corps and they made me tap it and then beer poured out and all over me", I provided her with the true story.
"Why is it that you always have to come up with the weirdest of excuses? Do you think anyone can believe that? Why would you deliver a barrel of beer to the Engineering Corps? That does not make any sense. You are not in the beer business. Moreover, why would they make you tap the barrel, all the while, the Engineering Corps has mechanics and craftsmen, who likely have experience with that kind a stuff?"
"So how do you think it happened then", I cautiously asked her?
"Well, maybe your 50 plus suitors had gotten tired of your lame excuses and poured beer all over you to punish you."
Hmm, I was not sure, if I could believe that story, but to avoid any further argument, I just agreed: "Yes, you are right, that's exactly how it happened."
"See, finally, you admit it."
Next day, I brought all the vehicles I had taken from the Reichskanzlei from the Engineering Corps over to the OMGUS office. To do that efficiently, I needed Amanda's help, to drive me over to Lichterfelde every time. There I also showed her the barrel, but she remained skeptical. Seeing us in front of the barrel, the Master Sergeant offered us two glasses: "Here, you might as well have more beer. After all, you brought it."
So we drank the beer. Suddenly, Amanda walked into the workshop to look at some pictures at the wall. It took me a couple of seconds, but then I realized what these pictures showed. They showed a womanhunt. They showed a Master Sergeant hunting a young, female major with a ¾" wrench drive.
The Master Sergeant told us: "These police men were really helpful in documenting this gauntlet."
Pinche, pinche, pinche. Now, the whole Engineering Corps knew me, and not in a good way.
When we were outside of the garage again, about to drive back to OMGUS in separate cars, Amanda said: "You know, I was wrong about that barrel. You organized that barrel for the Engineering Corps so that they would owe you."
Well, I had to remedy something, but after all, I wanted them to help me again, so her line was close enough: "Yes."
"Now you have twelve more suitors, makes 60 plus." After a pause she added: "Do gauntlets turn you on?"
Argh, Amanda, it was not my intention to get more suitors, and no, gauntlets don't turn me on, quite the opposite, but I did not even try to argue with her, it was ill fated.
"umzug_14" by matwiemann is marked with CC BY-NC-SA 2.0. To view the terms, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/?ref=openverse
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"271112_201322880000185_349372706_n" by Bayerischer Rundfunk (CC) is marked with CC BY-ND 2.0. To view the terms, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/?ref=openverse
