Maria, Pull the Trigger and Kill (a World War II adventure)

The US

My legs were shacking, my brain refused to work. The frontal cortex refused to work. The cerebellum on the other hand kept working fine, all the while, I wished it to fail, so that my vital functions would fail and my soul could leave my body. The stone had moved up from my boots back to the empty hole in my breast and it felt even heavier. Gabriela pushed me forward into the bus, otherwise I would have remained right there at the curbside. She pushed me forward, through the aisle and into a vacant seat. With her pelvis, she nudged me into the seat and immediately took the one right next to me. The ugly fat dude managed to sit right behind me tough. The bus had just taken off, when that man reached forward and touched my face with his big, calloused, dirty hands. It was so disgusting and humiliating.

Gabriela turned around to face him: "You might wanna be careful. People are watching and they think you are gay."

The fat dude looked around and truthfully, a number of eyes were on him. Back then, being gay was more shameful than being a whore or even a serial killer. With a disappointed face, he let himself fall into the backrest. Looking into my fearful face produced a smile on his though. Then he pointed his index finger at me and twinkled with one eye. I turned around and bend forward, so to put the longest possible distance between us. That moment, I wanted to die so that I did not have to suffer through the torture, shame and humiliation, which was awaiting me. I cried. Gabriela patted me on my back and asked: "Can you give me 2 peso, please?" I was in no moods to give her two peso, but she kept on begging until I gave them to her, so that at least, she would leave me alone. Then she walked up to the bus driver and came back with a bottle of tequila. Pinche, grave? Seriously? The two peso could have fed us both for a day and she wasted it for tequila? Did she wanted me to get drunk, so that it would be easier for me? Maria, what did you get yourself into, I asked myself again? My mom had been right, I was confused, sin ton ni son. Had I just said YES. I regretted it so much at that point. To make matters worse, Gabriela handed the bottle of tequila to the ugly, fat dude behind us saying: "To shorten your time."

The dude was more than surprised and gladly took the tequila. I could not believe it. Gabriela was crazy or --- or maybe the two of them were together and had decided to take advantage of me. I was easy prey. I realized I was such an inexperienced chick, an entirely inexperienced duckling, I have never seen the real hassles and struggles of life, most Mexicans have to face, especially Mexican women. Would they make me their slave? Their sex slave? Or just take my belongings and kill me? I'd honestly preferred the later one.

Meanwhile the night had fully claimed Mexico and most of the passengers were asleep. It took a while and the dude behind me started to bother me again. He had gotten drunk. Suddenly, he stood up from his seat, almost pushing his seatmate off the seat, and made his way to the front in a zig zag pattern. On his way, he bumped into a number of passengers, who were not pleased about it at all. Quickly, he started a dispute with the driver. The dispute got louder and eventually, the second driver who was asleep woke up and the three were arguing now. The fat dude, stood at the entry door and banged at the windows, until the bus stopped. He alighted and took a leak right there, not even bothering that the whole bus was watching. Well, supposedly, we were all man, so why should he have been ashamed? But then again, he knew that there were two women on board, so obviously, he gave a shit about modesty. He was too drunk.

Immediately, when he had entered the bus again, the driver took off again. On the way to his seat, he had a hard time keeping up right and eventually, he tripped over another passenger who got very upset. The whole bus was awake now. When he reached his seat, he fell right into it. His seatmate had gotten out of his seat right in time, to avoid getting crushed. Luckily, sleep claimed the ugly, fat dude quickly and he left me alone. At least for now.

A couple of hours later, the bus stopped at a restaurant. It was still night time and the lights in the restaurant were on and servants were already waiting for us. The bus driver announced: "You can eat here and go to the toilet. We will take off in half an hour again." I feared, my time had come and truly, the fat dude pointed his index finger at me and said: "Ahora!" Now!