I think I'm Dumb or Maybe Just Happy (Invader Zim x Reader)

6: Crack Baby, You Don't Know What You Want

"Very well, human." Zim began as he marched back and forth across his living room.

"As you know, I have allowed you to assist me in my mission. However!-" He was louder here for emphasis, "there are certain... conditions... for this new distinguished position."

You nodded hesitantly. You couldn't quite bring yourself to be intimidated. You didn't even think that would be possible to feel for this tiny alien. Especially with Gir and Minimoose sitting beside you. Needless to say, almost everyone in his base was adorable. (Except maybe you. You weren't sure.)

"First!-" Zim shifted rather quickly from his standing at attention to dramatically point his finger in your face.

"If you dare tell the humans about my true identity or my plans, I assure you... you will regret it." He brought his face close to yours to ensure that his glaring was obvious.

He recoiled after a few seconds. Zim cleared his throat before continuing. "Second! You are not to lie to me. Understood?" He waited for you to nod.

You did so, once again a bit hesitantly. You didn't like being bossed around and Zim seemed quite sure that he was giving you orders. Giving anyone the satisfaction of following their every command didn't sit right in your mind. Although technically he hadn't explicitly ordered you to nod. Prompted by your acknowledgment, he opened his mouth to list off the next rule.

A loud robotic groan from above your head cut him off. "Can you get on with it already?"

You looked towards a specific spot above you where you imagined the computer would've been. You knew Computer was technically the entire base but you liked having something to visualize. You imagined a large screen in the top left corner of the ceiling.

"Do not interrupt Zim!" He loudly dragged on the last word.

"...Is that another one of your robots, Zim?" You faked your innocence with a polite, curious smile.

"What? Eh- Not quite. This is my computer." He looked towards the same spot you'd focused your attention on previously.

"I might need some adjustments later though. It isn't as functional as intended." He added with a more confrontational tone. "You see, it's programmed to obey and respect its master."

You chuckled lightly at this. "It's nice to meet you, Computer."

"Oh. Thanks. It's nice to meet someone with manners." You could almost hear them smirk.

You were starting to think that your actions were getting redundant. You chuckled politely, again. It was true, you supposed; you did have manners. Besides, it was nice to get a compliment. You hadn't been sure when you first came to this reality if you would get to meet everyone. You were glad to meet Zim's computer anyway, they were very underrated.

"Hey! You're supposed to be on my side!" Zim looked at you with angry betrayal.

"I thought I told you I was impartial."

"Lies! You work for me now, you're on my side!" You weren't entirely sure if you had told him, honestly.

"That should be the next rule! You must swear your eternal, undying loyalty to Zim!"

"Uh- Sure. Why not?"

"Good!"

"Can you please just give him the information he wants before he starts talking again? It gets annoying very quickly when you have to deal with him every day."

"Haha! Sure." You turned to Zim. "What kind of information do you want?"

"Eh- Oh, I know! I'll ask you something I already know about humans so that you can prove yourself!"