outerbanks imagines.

fake lives, boat rides-jj

the morning rises before she's gathered any more sleep.
the sky is glistening pink,
the birds are waking up the city with their trill,
and she is sick with panic.
what will jj do with this information?
y/n wonders if his sight of her,
a presumed kook,
living on this side will be something fun for him to hang over her head.
like a game.
it does not feel fun like a game would,
not for her at least.
it feels like her head has been locked into the guillotine,
waiting for the strike of the blade to end her suffering.
she saunters to school.
y/n assumes something of a blowup will happen.
like this information will cause an uproar;
gossip for the starved.
she will never live this down.
"poor girl gone crazy. you'll never be one of us."
she can hear their taunts now.
though when she meets with her friends.
heart racing like it might burst,
palms sweating uncontrollably,
nothing has changed.
they are still none the wiser.
what is he waiting for?
for her arrival so he can see the embarrassing shame cover every inch of her skin?
what will she say in defense?
that her parents love her dearly but cannot afford to keep up with the current economy?
that while they sever years off of their lives by hard work,
they are barely making rent?
y/n sees him before he recognizes her.
she feels dread rip at her throat where it springs from the pit of her chest.
it's threatening to come loose in screams directed his way.
but what has he done yet?
he's an innocent as of right now.
he's done no wrong besides catching y/n in the greatest lie she's ever let slip from her teeth.
"good morning,"
jj says with a smile as he skims past her.
nothing more than that.
he finds this amusing.
while she has allowed her throat to be stitched close in fear of spilling over with truths,
while she has counted the seconds of sleep she's missed,
he has seen nothing more than a game.
y/n can't stop herself.
she grabs his arm and forces him to face her desperate face.
"please...you cannot tell anyone. that's-that's my returned favor. do not tell anyone."
jj brings his eyebrows together.
"why would i?"
"i don't know! because you'd probably find it funny or something ridiculous like that."
he shrugs.
"you don't have to worry,"
he reassures.
"i won't tell anyone you opened rafe's locker for me."
words leave her.
"what?"
is all she manages to say.
"i'm not gonna tell anyone you helped me. you can go on your merry way back to your million dollar mansion and sleep peacefully in hundred count threaded sheets. your secret is safe with me."
y/n wonders if maybe he'd been too drunk to remember last night.
he sure sounded like it.
"um...o-okay. thanks."
"mhm."
jj turns to go the way he was headed.
truth is,
he vividly remembers y/n leaning herself out of that window and yelling at him and his friends.
he remembers the state of her house,
prettied up with outside decorations and flowers that are being brought to bloom by spring.
but no matter how pretty it was,
it was still smack in the middle of the cut.
the one place he never expected to see her in,
much less living in.
but jj maybank knows all too well what it's like to not be accepted,
to reach out for something only to have it slip right from your fingers.
he's been there.
he would never put someone in a position to feel that loss.
so he feigns ignorance.
let her think him a drunk,
too inebriated to recall such an event.
he'll tuck it away for now.
but he doesn't know if he can stop thinking about her.
***
y/n's glad it's the weekend.
she's also glad she lied to her friends and told them her and her parents had to attend an out of town dinner with the elitist family she's created.
again,
not an entire lie.
her parents are out of town on their anniversary which is a trip y/n has never been quite interested in.
she's just glad they got the time off to go and celebrate.
they deserve it.
y/n makes herself a bowl of cereal with milk that's two days expired.
she figures she's safe for now.
she takes a seat at her isolated dinner table and sighs.
y/n realizes how lonely she is.
this is not because her house is barren of any parents or siblings,
because that merely makes her alone.
no,
y/n l/n is lonely.
she can feel the spirits of herself detaching from her bones,
the only thing keeping her tethered to this vessel of a body.
she wonders what might happen if she completely detaches from herself.
will she submerge herself into this delusion she's been living?
or will she rise to the surface with only pieces of herself left?
before she can dig deeper for an answer,
there's a knock at her door.
this is unusual,
especially since it's near evening.
y/n rises from her seat and leers through the peephole.
what the hell?
her eyes do not deceive her.
when she opens the door,
there stands jj maybank.
"you liar,"
she blames.
jj shrugs at this.
"seems we're one and the same in that department."
y/n feels the discomfort rise from the place she tried to tuck it away in.
"you don't know anything,"
she says with more conviction than she meant to muster.
jj notices the way her hands and voice shake at his being here.
this makes him soften.
"i didn't come here to start anything. i definitely didn't come here to hang this over your head and make you feel...ashamed or whatever. i just..."
he searches for the right words,
hoping that moving his hands will help them come to him quicker.
he decides on the blunt truth instead,
"i haven't stopped thinking about you. which is weird, right? so weird."
"is this a joke?"
jj shakes his head.
"no? i'm being honest."
y/n feels like he's up to no good.
but maybe because she's bruised herself a liar,
she feels everyone else must be lying to her as well.
"why? because i'm not as rich as you thought i was and now i'm-i'm easier to access?"
jj cocks his head to the side as though he's trying to make sense of y/n's words.
"where are you getting these ideas from?"
a beat passes before she answers,
"...i'm just trying to make sense of this."
"so am i. what? you think this is easy for me?"
y/n doesn't answer.
he hadn't meant to sound so harsh.
jj's tone mollifies when he speaks again,
"i didn't mean it like that...i just mean that it's confusing for me too. but...it has nothing to do with your status or whatever you want to call it, okay?"
she blinks away the last bits of her confusion then nods.
"...okay."
"okay, great."
"so...what'd you come here for?"
jj snaps his fingers.
"right! i've come to tell you to cash in on your favor."
y/n brings her eyebrows together in confusion.
"i don't think that's how this works. i come to you when i need a favor. besides, i already asked you for it."
"mm, doesn't count. this offer only lasts a week. it expires today."
"when did that become a thing?"
jj grins when he says,
"come on, y/n. didn't anybody teach you to read the small print?"
she can't help but to laugh at his charm.
"...okay."
"so, y/n, what is one thing you've never done before? because today is the day it will be done."
jj sounds determined,
almost excited.
it makes y/n heart pick up in speed.
"oh, i don't know."
because it's the truth.
all the things she would like to do are well out of her reach,
and her pay grade.
and then she remembers.
"you ever been to knotts island?"
jj laughs into his hand then nods.
"a few times."
"i've never been that way. our boat was only meant for fishing on the lake."
"you want me to take you out to knotts island?"
y/n shrugs.
it's the one thing in her vicinity that she's never been able to do on the account of her family's lack thereof.
"if you don't mind."
"i can't think of a better favor to carry out, y/n."
his smile is genuine.
y/n feels another race in her heart that beats in syllables of excitement.
jj watches as she falls elated beneath his agreement and there,
he makes a promise to himself to keep her content.
"i'll meet you back here in an hour. get ready."
"okay."
before jj can turn to leave,
y/n reaches out for him and says,
"thank you."
and she means it.
she is thanking him for holding his tongue still,
otherwise the life she's forged will have come undone.
but most of all,
she is thanking him for being kind.
"anything for you, y/n."