It's Still There ✔️

2. What Is A Gay Person?

“What about your dad?”

“My dad left my mom after I was born.” He said nonchalantly. 

“Oh. My bad. I didn’t mean to be nosy.”

“It’s fine. He left her because he didn’t want the responsibility of having a child. He gave my mom $400 and left, never looking back.” He finished while I just looked at him.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I never met the guy. Mom always talks bad about him, but a part of me knows that she still misses him.” He said. I began to lean in closer to him, entranced by his amber brown eyes. 

I was snapped out when I was shocked by the board game.

That day with Carter was once again perfect. And to this day, I wished I could go back and be there again with him. We made plans to hang out during the week. We agreed on Wednesday we would meet at the Dizzy, a nearby LAN center which has computers we could use.

We said our goodbyes, and I felt like I left a piece of me. I walked home and was once again bombarded with questions as to my late arrival. I said I was with a friend. And when they asked if it was Ned or Patty or anyone from my group, I said no. This caused them to give each other curious glances as to who this mysterious friend was.

Wednesday rolled around and like we said on Sunday, we met at Dizzy. Carter looked more dressed up today. And when I complimented him, he blushed. I had no idea if he did this for me or just to look nice. But I like to think he dressed up just for me. 

We entered the gaming center and agreed to pay for at least three hours. We chose a computer in the far back. It’s not that I was ashamed of hanging out with Carter. But I had a reputation to uphold.

That should give you the first reason to hate me: I was ashamed of being with him.

We turned on the old Macintosh computer that was plugged and turned on. I left Carter to get us some snacks. I got a few drinks and chips that we’ll be able to splurge on. Carter insisted he pay but I knew he didn’t have much so I offered to buy everything. He agreed, but that one day he’ll owe me back.

I ended up owing my life to him.

To say I had fun would be an understatement. It was breathtaking. Every moment with Carter was breathtaking. We spent that afternoon searching up anything we could think of. Anything that was either taboo or banned in our town, we searched it up. Rock music, graffiti art, R-rated movies. Then we came across an article that caught our attention.

‘Congress passes ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy’

We were curious as to what it was so we clicked and read it. We were shocked at the idea that gay people were just now allowed to be in the military.

“What’s a gay person?” Carter asked. I was shocked. But it’s understandable. I myself didn’t really know what a gay person was. All I heard was that they were 'creations by the devil who sinned'. But I knew better than to listen to what the church says.

“Let’s search it up.” I said. I grabbed the keyboard and typed ‘gay people’ in the search bar. What came up was a series of pictures depicting men and men kissing each other and women and women kissing each other. This was different. I was always used to men and women kissing one another. But the same gender. This was off. I didn’t understand it. How could one like someone of the same gender? Then I turned and saw Carter.

Could I also be-

“Interesting.” Carter said. He looked at the pictures and scrolled through them. Then we came across a picture of two young guys kissing each other. Carter blushed when he saw it. And I looked at it. 

And I imagined me kissing Carter like that.

“I would like to kiss someone.” Carter said. 

“You’ve never had your first kiss?” I asked.

“N-No. Not yet. I’m waiting for the right person.” He blushed.

“That’s understandable. You’ll find someone one day. I promise.” I said. He giggled when I tickled him. 

We ended our day on a happy note. We agreed to hang out again on Sunday. I wanted to bring something for Carter. He’s allowed me to hang out at his house so the least I could do is bring him something.

School the next day was me meeting up with the people, AKA the people I hang out with that aren’t my friends.

“Hey man, you’ve been distant lately. You okay?” Ned asked me. Everyone turned to me as if they themselves questioned this. I didn’t understand why they cared all of a sudden. I never really talk to them. I guess their main question is ‘Why do you look so happy?’

“No reason.” I said. 

“Alright man. If you say so.” Ned said. I was glad they dropped the subject. I didn’t need them to pester me any longer.

Carter walked by and gave me a wave. 

“Why’d he wave at you?” Lauren asked. I shrugged as if I didn’t know.

Another reason to hate me: I pretended he didn’t exist sometimes.