Vampirism || taekook

60: The First Step To Acceptance

Suddenly, she looked embarrassed. "Oh, thanks. I guess I was a little mean, after all. You just looked so well off, maybe that made me feel insecure. And by the way..." Now she looked at both of them.
"Sorry I made fun of you guys dating. I swear I have nothing against gay people, you just looked happy and in love and I guess that made me feel insecure again." She smiled a little again.
"By the way, you didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

"We have a friend here, too. And-- did you see Mr. Kim, our law & criminality teacher by chance? He's here," Jungkook responded. She shrugged.
"He comes here every once in a while, checks on the kids, asks them questions and stuff. It's a little creepy if you ask me, to be honest. But maybe he... analyzes orphan psychology for fun or something. Or he thinks he'll find the tooth fairy, he's the weird superstition guy after all." The two vampires forced a laugh.

"Totally."

°○●○●○°

The little bell jingled as the two vampires entered the harmonious and warm space, full of elevated chatter and laughter, the smell of fresh meat and the sizzling of pork belly strips being roasted thoroughly. They looked around the room, looking for a particular someone.

"There." Taehyung pointed towards an occupied table in the corner of the restaurant, his face twisting a little in distaste. No matter how many times he came here, he would never grow to like the sound of steel chopsticks clattering against each other, nor would he grow to like the idea of customers sitting on cushions on the floor instead of chairs.

Hesitantly, the two of them walked towards the table, anxiety settling in both their stomachs as they approached it and increasing with every step they took. And at last, they stood in front of it, looking down on the customers sitting around the table.
"So, you came."

"Of course we would come. You wanted to see us?," Jungkook spoke carefully, squeezing Taehyung's hand a little as he was uncertain about what would happen this evening.
"Well, you two sit down." They complied, seating themselves on two unoccupied cushions and silently staring down on the table and the perfectly brown pork belly strips on the heating panel.

"I need some soju. I can't do this in a sober state."
"Sure, Hobi. Ahjumma, some soju over here, please!"

"Now that I think of it, I need alcohol, too," Taehyung mumbled quietly but then closed his mouth at the dark look Jungkook gave him.
"Sorry. What did you guys want to talk about?" Hoseok, Jimin and Namjoon looked at each other as if telepathically deciding who would be the first one to talk. In the end, Namjoon opened his mouth.

"I've been thinking. Few weeks ago, Jimin came to my place ringing my doorbell like a madman. My mother almost passed out worrying about some lunatic drunk trying to murder all of us before realizing it was him. When I opened the door, he just fell into my arms hysterically sobbing about you, Jungkook, being dead. It took fifty minutes to make him stop crying. Fifty minutes." He looked at them sternly, nearly making them cower.

"I didn't believe it at first. There was no way my best friend, my best friend for I-don't-know-how-many-years died before marrying, before having his first child and finding true happiness. But soon, I came to realize that Jimin wasn't joking, he was right. I was holding a glass of water but my hands started shaking so violently, I dropped and it shattered into a million pieces. Glass shards pierced my bare feet, but I didn't budge. It was like I was in a trance, I couldn't move a single muscle in my body and my ears started ringing."

The restaurant owner broke the deafening silence by bringing a big bottle of soju along with a few glasses on a tray, which they were all relieved about as it gave them time to think.
"I felt like my body mechanisms stopped functioning. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. What bothered me most was the fact that contrarily to Jimin, I couldn't even cry. Hoseok was kind of in the middle, sometimes he cried, sometimes he was like me."

"It took us long to accept the fact that you were dead, and even longer to say goodbye to you. Yes, eventually we overcame the depressive stage of grief and moved on to acceptance. Because we had each other to hold on to and find comfort in. But then we learned that you actually were alive all this time. You were there, in Hoseok's dorm, or Taehyung's house- and you didn't tell us a thing. You have no idea how that made us feel. I wish I could've felt completely happy, but I actually felt rather disappointed. All this work to move on from a loved one's death, and then you tell me it was all for nothing? I felt ashamed for thinking like that, but I learned that these two felt the same." He stopped talking and poured himself a glass of soju, which he immediately downed.

"Okay, so," Jungkook spoke after another deafening silence, taking a deep breath. "Namjoon, remember when Eunbi broke up with me in middle school for apparently no reason? I was so angry at her and constantly got upset over it, but you saw everything with different eyes. You told me to see both sides of a conflict before coming to a conclusion. So, after a talk with her, I came to learn that her grandma passed away and she simply couldn't imagine being committed at the moment. I'm asking you guys to do the same thing and see both sides of the story."

He sighed. "When I woke up in the hospital, I was hungry. Not for food, you know exactly for what. It was unfamiliar and scary, I felt like-- I don't know, not human for sure. And then... I attacked the doctor. I sucked his blood to complete the transformation. I didn't know if I killed him or how badly I hurt him. And the way I felt about it was even scarier. I felt like a monster, like I didn't even know myself. If Taehyung, who actually killed a man to fulfill his transformation, hadn't helped me and stood by me, I would've gone completely crazy and perhaps done horrible things."

"One thing you need to see is that for vampires, everything is different. Of course, physical abilities and hunger, for one. But your emotions, they're absolutelt uncontrollable and claw at you like some beast. Everything is elevated: happiness, pleasure, joy. But also pain and fear. Don't even get me started on the bloodthirst, sometimes I felt like jumping humans just to drink their stupid blood. Again, Taehyung was the one who helped me, trained me into drinking animal blood and blood bags from the hospital."

"I could even barely deal with what I had become, how'd you expect me to actually face humans? I know I probably shouldn't have done that, but I avoided thinking about you guys. Because I felt so damn guilty. For Hoseok, who literally thought he murdered me. And you two, thinking I died without even saying goodbye. I thought I protected you by letting you think I was actually gone, because the me you knew maybe really was gone. I knew I'd tell you the truth eventually, but the situation had escalated so drastically, it was very stressful and frightening to think rationally. And then there was Taehyung getting bitten by a wolf and almost dying and me and Mina getting the cure-- it was just crazy."

"You guys, I'm really sorry about not telling you and if there's anything to make up for the grief you felt, I'd do it immediately. I understand if you want nothing to do with me anymore and I just wish the situation would've been easier. Life is so damn complicated, even after you die and turn into a fucking vampire. If you need more time to think things through, that's completely cool." He let out a deep breath after finishing and fiddled around with his thumbs as an act of being very nervous.

Jimin shook his head, also downing a glass of soju. "No. Not me. I just need you to answer me one question. Both of you." The vampires looked up in surprise, nodding immediately.
"Of course, what is it?" The noodlehead let out a little laugh.

"Are you two dating?"

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(A/N: hey i actually kind of liked this chapter😌 i'm sorry it took me a few days more i just had my last maths exam for the years so i had to cram for that shit :/

on the bright side, i think i completed every single exercise my book contained and now i'm a certified vector expert😭 the exam actually wasn't that bad and the usual time pressure and stuff was much less🥰

i hope your guys' maths exams also go well if you still have some, you can do it <3 as always thank you very much for reading so far, hope you could enjoy and have a nice day/night, luv ya🥰💜)