A Silent Hope

Heartbreak

I straightened my back and gave myself a once over in the mirror. My long hair fell down my back in twists, my make up wasn't ruined by near tears and I looked happy enough to fake it through this.

So, that's what I did, I faked it throughout the entire wedding.

Like a good friend was, I walked down the aisle beside the best man. I stood at my designated spot and waited for the bride along with everyone else. I broke a bit more when she appeared, her eyes solely on her groom. I didn't miss the way Julian stared at her, the same way I did. Like she was everything. And she was to both of us.

I clenched my hands around the bouquet in my hands as they exchanged vows. My mind filled with memories of us growing up. I kept quiet when they asked if anyone had a reason they shouldn't be joined. I smiled like everyone else when they slipped on the rings and sealed it with a kiss.

I gave my speech with the brightest smile and did my duty by wishing them a long and happy life. And believe me when I say I meant each and every word. Because she deserved a long and happy life even if I wasn't giving it to her. I supposed that is what love is, sacrifice.

Love was bullshit.

Then, with one last lingering glance at the smitten couple, I left.

~●~

"Jace!"

My head peeked around the fire truck where I was. "Captain?"

"You're in charge of today's tour." The greying haired man informed me before leaving again.

I sighed and shut the bumper storage, dusting my hands on my pants. Today we had a class of third graders and I wasn't looking forward to it. I grumbled to myself when I heard the distinct tell of kids approaching. Their blissful chattering and stomping shoes came to where I was. I loved the small humans, but it had been a long week and I was only looking forward to going home.

Thirty minutes later, I said goodbye to the kids and waited for the last few minutes of my shift to end. When it did come, I wasted no time in making my way out. Reaching up to my bun, I allowed my twists to fall down my back. I shrugged on my leather jacket and held my helmet under my arm.

Paul Lahey spotted me and a wide grin formed across his childlike face on my way out of the station. "We on for tomorrow, Jace?"

I gave a salute and a smirk. "We sure are."

"Get some rest, buddy." He gave me a half hug and went on his way.

My sleek black Yamaha R15 stood in the parking lot. It was a gift from my parents on my birthday last year. The bike was a well appreciated gift and I took care of it like it was my baby. Because it was.

I straddled the bike and placed my helmet on before speeding off. I got to my new apartment in no time, parked my bike and got off. I always carried my helmet with me instead of leaving it hanging off the bike, so I headed inside. I lived on the third floor of the five storey building and jogged up the stairs, seeing as they hadn't fixed the elevators.

Entering my place with small pants leaving me, I put down my helmet, keys, phone and wallet on the console table to my left. I hurriedly stripped out of my clothes until I wore only my boxer brief and sports bra. Too tired to do much else, I fell to my comfy sofa and was out in no time.

I woke up lazy despite my long ass nap. I stood in the shower with my toothbrush in my mouth. I brushed while leaning against the tiled wall eyeing the water fall. I breathed in deeply, the ache making an appearance again.

Ten months and I still can't get over it.

I stood at the kitchen island and drank my protein shake, eyes scanning my empty place. I missed home but I knew I didn't want to go back there. Already dressed in my gym shorts, sports bra and sweatshirt, I pulled on my trainers. I left my apartment with my wallet and keys in my pocket. The sun was high in the sky and I probably shouldn't run when it was this hot, but running always helped me cast the thoughts away.

I jogged in the direction I knew the gym was and pushed everything else away. There was a gym at work, but this was a small town and the equipments were limited. I needed somewhere to go when I was off. I ran the three miles there, slowing down as I neared. My mind was still trying to stay absent when I bumped into someone.

Instinctively, I reached forward and grabbed the smaller body from falling. "I am so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you okay? I'm so sorry."

The woman's eyes rapidly blinked as they trailed up to mine, momentarily widening. Our eyes stayed locked for a few seconds and I noted her brown eyes held some green around the irises. No doubt, she was a beautiful woman and I mentally patted myself on the shoulder for noticing someone that wasn't Belle. Though this woman seemed tired, but still effortlessly beautiful.

"Are you okay?" I asked again as I let my hands fall from her waist. So soft.

I am so gay.

She didn't answer right away, nodding at first as she fixed her purse before adding, "I'm fine. Excuse me." She then walked past me.

"Sorry!" I yelled at her retreating figure, feeling guilty for almost knocking her over.

She only sent me a thumbs up without slowing down or turning.

I sighed and headed into the gym.

-E