Cheesy Movie | ONC translation

Scene eight

"I suspect you suspect I'm guessing right."

"And I suspect you have no idea if I suspect you're suspecting correctly." Robert retorted angrily.

"And I, in turn, suspect that- Oh man... this is ridiculous. Are you gonna sell me that weed or what?" The man sighed, finally interrupting the conversation that was beginning to spin dangerously in circles.

"Yeah... sure." Robert said more mildly now, grateful to the man for saving them both from a verbal shootout that, with a little luck, could have stretched on for hours.

So he handed him a small packet of weed, of which he always carried several for occasions such as this, and asked with the faux empathy of a businessman who doesn't want to come across as a complete extortionist after making his business partner sign some very unfavourable deal, "Tough day?"

"You have no idea!" The man groaned, shoving the weed into the front pocket of his rumpled jacket. "Imagine working for a whole month coming up with an absolutely brilliant play and then having investors say they won't fund it because it's, allegedly, 'The Devil's Work'."

"That's a pity..." muttered Robert automatically, without thinking about what the failed writer was telling him.

But then it clicked in his head and he finally found the answer to his question.

To the right...

So Robert didn't hesitate and confidently made his way down the road from whence the rejected theatrical impresario had come.

And so, fearing that his new employer might be annoyed by the long wait, Robert set off towards his salvation, heedless of the fact that he had not been paid for the weed.

It was Lord's weed, after all, he wouldn't need it anymore.

So when Robert was directed to the right street, it didn't take long to reach the building he was looking for.

After walking down a long street teeming with graffiti and stray dogs, he finally stood before his destination, which was a ten-story tall modern building that looked like a lily flower on a junkyard being in the neighborhood of dilapidated apartment buildings.

This was the mysterious building that housed ruthless investors who could, with a word, rip artists' dreams to shreds and throw them from the tenth floor down to the street where rejected directors, writers and other unfortunates wandered aimlessly.

Robert had one consolation, then- the man he was here to meet could not possibly be the cruelest man in the house, not even a mob boss had the sadistic appetites of investors.

So he looked around the small parking lot located near the building and, when he was relieved to see that Láďa's black Mercedes was not there, he decided that he would rather wait inside the building in the lobby, lest one of the artists who mourned his shattered dreams here should happen to ask for his services.

Inside, things weren't much better, it was also swarming with people who looked like even one wrongly chosen word would make them jump off the roof of this damned building, but they were either too nervous about their upcoming meeting or still too shocked by their recent rejection, so no one even considered doing any illegal business.

And so Robert could wait in peace until his future employer's beautiful black Mercedes appeared in front of the building and he could finally take the terrible burden of uncertainty off his shoulders.

But instead of Láďa, someone else, whom Robert knew very well, arrived for the meeting with the investors.

Arnošt and Lola.

At that moment, Robert didn't even consider the reason why Lord's murderer was parading around with his best client. All he had to do was see the annoyed look on Arnošt's face, and he immediately reconsidered his intention to talk to him about his next career progression.

Never, and this is indeed a time-honored rule, never bother a nervous criminal unless you're separated by bulletproof glass.

And that's when Robert got the chance to try that impromptu choice based on the person's personality. This was no longer about going right or left. He could safely leave this situation in the hands of his primitive human nature.

So what did Robert do? Did he greet Arnošt, or did he put his head down and play dead?

Neither.

He hysterically rose from his chair, pushed aside a weeping choreographer whose investors had just rejected his project called 'Snow White and the Five Green Aliens', and ducked into the nearest doorway.

Luckily for Robert, it was neither the office of any surly handyman nor the ladies' room, but the men's bathroom.

What was worse for him, though, was that he revealed which personality type he belonged to.

But then again, fortunately, Robert had almost no pride. He was one of those people who would unhesitatingly sacrifice what made them at least somewhat acceptable to save their lives and their comfort.

Therefore, Robert had no qualms whatsoever about crouching in the bathroom like a cockroach under the closet, watching through the keyhole of the door to see if Arnošt had finally left.