Adriana's Corner

Chapter 32

"To fix what I screwed up earlier but we can talk about that later. I do want to know what happened Nina, I'm hoping I can help or at least know what you're dealing with..."

I scoff at this which almost turns into another cry.

"I don't even want to know any more, Miles. You and Joe were right. I was so not ready for that! I wish...I wish I could unknow it but I can't and now I'm stuck with the information and it won't go away. The anger won't go away and the...everything!" I yell throwing my arms up.

"That anger at who?" Miles asks calmly. Too calmly for my liking

"At my parents!! They deserted her. They just left her without...without telling her we were leaving or where we were going and she was only sixteen! Sixteen and she's left with nobody. And our parents in London telling me some cock and bull story about how she was a disgrace to the family and telling other people they only have 'one daughter'. They were the disgrace all this time. All that time! They were in the wrong. They were the reason I grew up with no sister for twenty-seven years...Yes, I've been counting. They were the ones who treated their innocent good-hearted daughter like dirt. She was their daughter and they just left her. Who...who does that? Who in their right mind does that just to save money! And they were my parents! I trusted them, I believed what they told me and . . .I don't get it! I wish I didn't know. I don't want to know any more. My head hurts, it feels like it's going to cave in and I wish it would so I could stop thinking and being so angry at them, at what they did and ...and at you for coming here and rubbing in my face just how too damn perfect you are only to leave again and I can't do it...it's exhausting thinking all the time and not sleeping all the time and I want everything to vanish. I just want to be normal. I want to feel normal again and not so screwed up about everything. I don't even know what you're still doing here. Clearly I'm nuts and fail miserably at everything I do. I can't even do Adriana's life properly."

Out of the corner of my eye I see him pick up a coffee. I swallow the lump in my throat and sniff.

"I wouldn't. He means well but can't make a decent coffee to save himself."

"Ah...noted." he says, putting it back down. He then shifts a little closer, legs folded and his fingers running through his already messy hair.

"Nina, I can't undo what you know or what your family did. Neither can you but, it can all still be used to your advantage." I give Miles a doubtful look.

"I think you've lost your touch. How do I use my horrid parents neglecting their child to my advantage?"

"You're not them. You didn't get into the family business. Think of how much worse you'd feel if you had. You've spent most of your life not knowing who you want to be like. people either want to be like their parents or they don't. Correct me if I'm wrong but you've never really known have you?" I timidly shake my head in reply.

"How do you know that?" I ask.

"Months ago we talked about it. How kids either act like their parents or they spend their life trying not to become their parents. You said you weren't sure which way you rolled."

"Oh." Is all I say back, not wanting to ask how he remembered that.

"All this new information is just adding up to who Nina becomes as an individual. Who I am has a lot to do with my father and the drugs and all that other stuff I'm not proud of. All of those things were a huge impact on who I am now. In London I only ever saw glimpses of the person you've become here. You've learnt that people loved Adriana so you automatically wanted to be likened to her. What your parents were like may not have been pretty but if it's going to drive you to be the opposite of them won't that make you better off in the end? You're not your parents. You're also not Adriana but if there are aspects of her you want to mirror, who's to say that's a bad thing? What happened to her probably made her the person everyone adored here. That's a good thing. don't you think?"