Keep An Open Mind {Lynn Gunn}

10) It's Hard To Dream With Eyes Stitched Open

"I don't know, I thought you guys might appreciate it. And you deserve it more than others." I replied, truthfully. Then both me and Alex laid down as well, letting ourselves be at ease on the soft grass, which was tickling my neck.

"Oh, and I owe you, Brian. It's also thanks to you that I found the strength to react to teases, today." I added, turning to him.

"What do you mean?"

"Ivy, the girl that you turned off for me, tried to humiliate me again. We ended up with me humiliating her, instead. It's what people like her deserve." I explained, still smirking. He grinned proudly and nodded to himself.

"Preach it!" He said, holding out a hand for me, and I high fived him.

"Hey Lex, one day it will be your turn to fight your demons." Brian said to Alex, who looked down flashing us a weak smile. "Bro? C'mon, say something, man!" Brian said, shaking him a bit.

"Brian, you're yelling." I pointed out.

"I'm not!" he defended himself.

"You are. Look at him, he's obviously uncomfortable" I stated and Brian's face softened as he realized. His grip on Alex's sleeves weakened until he released them.

"oh... Sorry." He said awkwardly and Alex nodded once in response, as if saying 'it's okay'.

I envied their friendship, they'd be awkward with each other sometimes, but never losing that connection that everybody looks for in a friendship. You could tell it from a million miles, those two were like brothers.

We small chatted for a while about anything, just being ourselves, and playing with some pebbles we had found on the ground.

"Hey, we have one question..." Brian spoke up.

"Spit it out." I responded.

"Why do you search so desperately for your dream world? I mean, is it like your little escape from the real world?" he asked. Nice question, really.

"You know, I like to have big expectations, ambitions, to look forward waiting for something better. Don't you wonder if there's something bigger than what we're used to see every day? Something more? Something deeper?" I asked and he got lost deep in thought, still paying attention to me.

"I learned to watch the other side of everything or at least, expect that there's another side to everything. A second option, you know? The part of the things that people usually either don't see, forget to see, don't pay attention to, or even choose not to see. The universe has no limit, and so does the human mind. We're made to think and make up our mind on our own, discover new things as the days pass by. What would happen if we all stopped discovering? I mean, before discovering something you need to look for it. And before looking for it, you need to ask yourself what you're looking for. And again before that, you need to wonder why you want to find it. For me, this is the main thing I'm dying to find. But I'm aware that I can't come to any relevant result until I understand what I'm willing to do and what's happening to my mind. It's transforming, in the best of the ways I guess, and it's taking me to places. That's my happy place, whether it's real or not, and I believe it is." I explained.

"That makes sense, yeah... but what happens if and when you find it? You're leaving your life behind..." he said, in a surprisingly calm and relaxed tone.

"I'm not afraid of leaving my life behind. There's always time to start a new life and build up new ambitions for the future. This world we get to see from this amazing area is... polluted. It's cold and unfair, it's a wrong world. If there's a chance to set up a better world... I'm all for it."

"But it's like escaping the real world... you're basically running away from your problems."

"that's a sort of escape, yeah. But I'm not running away from anything. I'm just finding my safety, that's a shield."

"But you can't hide behind a shield forever, you have to fight back at some point!"

"I don't need that. I just have one goal, which is freedom, happiness, that's all I want. I'm already fighting, my life's a whole fight against prejudices, glares, and different judgements and opinions. That's my battle and I'm still trying to win it. When I find this place, that'll be my win, and the battle will be over. That's where my happiness is growing and hiding, all I need to do is try my best to catch it." I said, and he crossed his arms towards his chest.

"Okay, I get it." He said, much to my delight.

"And you? Don't you have goals?" I questioned.

"Yeah, just one. I don't want to feel mad or stressed or frustrated anymore, it's just too hard." He replied in a serious voice, swallowing hard.

"I'm not going to lie, that might take time." I said and sat up, playing with a stem of grass with my fingers and breaking it piece to piece.

"but trust me, once you make it, it will be totally worth it." I added, with a reassuring small smile that seemed to comfort him a bit.

"And you, Alex? Any ambition?" I asked, looking over to Alex, which was still staring at the clouds. He turned to us and looked at Brian expectantly. Brian nodded as if he got the hint and pulled his phone out of the pocket.

When he was done typing, Alex handed me the phone. The note read:

'I want to see the snow. I've never seen the snow, my health is too delicate to be around so much ice, my parents never let me experience it. I'm fragile like a snowflake ...'

I looked at him sympathetically.

"Nothing's impossible. You're going to see the snow." I promised, causing him to smile brightly.

I know that was a tough promise and I couldn't be sure that it would happen, but somehow I was going to help him with that dream of him.

Yeah, I was really determined in this mission. It was the sign that I was seriously starting to love these people, they had gotten closer to me in one day than everyone else who had known me since when I was born. These are my friends.

We went on talking for a while and watched the sunset over the horizon.

I kept wondering what's behind the sky, maybe a whole new world we're not able to see. But that's what dreams are for: wondering, portraying different universes, indulging with fantasy to create something better.

This is not just all in your head.