Cycle of Pain [Uchiha Itachi]

SPECIAL CHAPTER

"Are you okay?" Shisui asked upon noticing my sudden groan. "You look pale bro." 

Pale? I am perfectly confident that I have taken care of myself well. I do not enjoy putting myself at risk. I am no masochist. 

"My head aches a lot today. Maybe I should grab a little nap for a while." I told him. "Today's a bit... unusual." 

After bidding goodbyes, I teleported above the Hokage monument. I sat above the branch of the tree and leaned myself on the trunk so I could catch a rest. This is where the best spot to look for the aerial view of the village and this is the spot that often comforts me whenever I feel disturbed. 

I told Shisui that I wanted to rest but what I am doing right now was the opposite. I'm overthinking again, the flow of thoughts inside my head was uncontrollable. It's irritating. I understand that my genetics suggest that my clan is good at thinking but to overthink this much, over a death of someone I barely knew? That's unconvincing. The fact that I felt different emotions earlier petrified me. My clan hate uncertainties - we feared something we can't figure out. For it may cause unknown damage to us. 

I am from the Nara clan. I am Nara Reika from the second branch. 

I mourned over someone's death, I felt relieve, I felt sad, I felt like... I am broke and someone I trusted broke my trust. These emotions - I am not used to feel those. Maybe that's the reason why am I overthinking about this. 

"Promises are always shallow and broken promises are the reason why people are scared to trust again" I uttered nowhere. 

Suddenly, nostalgia hit myself after the moonlight touched my bare face. I tried to remember but nothing came up. I tried to recall whatever I have forgotten but nothing came up. I feel I'm forgetting something but I can't remember. Maybe I should talk with Inoichi-san so I could figure what kind of dilemma I was facing. 

"In the first place, why would you promise when you know that there's a hint of uncertainties?" I asked, corresponding to the phrases I just uttered. "And why hope for something you can't even grasp? Are people usually this dumb?" 

I don't understand. 

( -_- )

I feel mad. 

"I am confident that I am doing my best in ANBU. I have done a lot of things for the village and for the reputation of ANBU." I hissed, not minding that the people around me are suffocated because of my KI. "I love my job here in this organization." In this gloomy organization - might I add. 

After having a talk with Inoichi-san, I never knew that he'll instantly tell the Lord Hokage about my condition. I felt betrayed, I thought that our conversation will remain in secret. Yes, I told him that I am afraid that this disruptions that keeps happening inside me jeopardize my crucial missions but I told him that I can still handle that!

"Reika." I stopped when I heard Lord Hokage's stern voice. He countered my KI - the reason why he's able to talk back. "Lower your KI." He commanded so I did lower. "I have come to this conclusion last 3 years ago after your returned from your assassination mission. It was Uchiha Itachi who suggested that I should reconsider of regrouping you with his unit. He told me that your skills were advance and is suitable in the Special Jonin Unit." 

Eyes widened, I absentmindedly cried. I can't believe I cried in front of the Hokage. In the first place, why would that dead man thought about my well-being? Did he just say last 3 years? Does that Uchiha Itachi usually categorizes someone?