Never Without You │ BOTW modern AU fanfic

I Had So Many Reasons

I don't want Link to get hurt again or get in more trouble with the law, but that's not a strong reason to him, he won't care about himself. He never does when anger blinds him. I also don't want Karusa to feel the satisfaction of getting under Link's skin again. I already confronted Karusa in a way and don't need Link to fight my battles. And the shame I feel when someone else imagines or talks about what happened to me is unbearable. But I think my number one reason is far weaker than any of those...

What Karusa did to me–some people who haven't experienced a similar situation might not understand how painful and scary it was when he grabbed me. They might think I'm overreacting because there surely are worse things that could have happened. They might even take Karusa's side. Or find a way to blame me.

I suppose I'm ultimately just embarrassed for getting hurt by something I could have stopped in the beginning...

"I just don't want that. It would make me sad. I hope that's a good enough reason," I say instead and add, "I want to tell you what happened to me but only if I can trust you won't bring it up to anyone else."

"Okay, I promise I won't talk to anyone about it other than you."

I nod thankfully. My pulse is hammering in my throat and I haven't even started yet.

"It happened during your last soccer game. When you played against the Boars. I wanted to support you even though you told me not to come... I completely ignored your warning... Because of that, I was scared you'd blame me for what happened..."

Now I'm the one minding eye contact. I know he is aching to say something but he is patiently keeping his lips sealed. His free hand moves on top of our interlocked hands. I'm so glad he didn't leave after I panicked earlier. It would have been easier to just walk out the door, but I don't think I could have recovered as quickly. I take a deep breath and exhale it with a slight quiver.

"Karusa spotted me and followed me into the tunnels of the stadium. I was alone..." Link's hands tighten around mine. "First he just wanted to talk. Then he grabbed me and told me to relax. I don't remember all the things he said to me but I can feel his hand pressing against my back just thinking about that moment. When I tried to push him away, he slammed me against the wall." My breaths quicken and my heart exhilarates. "He pressed himself against me and..." They are just words, why are my lips refusing to say them! "His mouth–he...he..." I don't think I can do this...

When Link moves the hair out of my face, my tear-stained cheeks are exposed. He tucks the strand of hair behind my ear and wipes my tears.

"You don't have to go through this alone," he says in a low voice.

I fall into his arms and bury my head in his chest. With a racing heart, I gasp for air and force the words to come out. "He had his lips pressed against my neck! I tried to fight it! I swear, I tried so hard! On the inside I was screaming, but I was numb on the outside! I could feel his breath on my skin! I was ashamed to call for help, but when I finally did, he covered my mouth! I was suffocating and panicked even more. I thought I was going to pass out and who knows what could have happened!"

I experienced similar feelings tonight but Link already feels bad about this whole thing so I'll keep that to myself. I consider stopping right here. Does he need to know more? If I tell him that Karusa's hands slipped under my sweatshirt, Link may refrain from doing so in the future or feel guilty when he does. I don't want that. It's bad enough that I think of Karusa whenever Link and I get more intimate, I don't want him to be plagued with those thoughts too. I don't want Karusa to affect our relationship ever again.

"I pulled him back by his hair when he tried to... to do other things. He got so angry. He said I'm overreacting. That I am just a prude. I don't know how close to the truth he was, but what I do know is that he was right when he said I should have told him to stop... I never said the word stop. And I suppose, tonight, I didn't say it either. It's just one word. Four stupid letters. But to me, nothing has ever been more difficult to say out loud."