My secret lives

Chapter 7

I didn't deserve nice clothes if it was my fault he died. I didn't and still don't deserve anything because I'm the one to blame.

He pushes my jeans up a little but I quickly pull them down again knowing that there are scars and bruises.

He doesn't push them up again, seeing my uncomfortable state.

The look on his face goes from concentration to worry in a matter of seconds.

He just looks at my ankle for a while, not touching it.

Then he gently placed his palm against the sole of my food, "push against my hand as hard as you can with your foot please" he says.

I do as he says as a painful sensation flows from my ankle to up my leg.

Not being able to stop it, a small cry leaves my mouth.

"Forward again" he instructs me.

I do that and the pain becomes worse.

I stop moving, "no, it hurts too much" I tell him, my eyes starting to glance over from tears of pain but I make sure not to let them fall.

"We're going to do the same thing with your other foot so we can compare it" he tells me.

I just agree as we start over again but with the other side.

When we've finished the other ankle, he suddenly pushes on my ankle.

A whimper leaves my mouth as I wasn't not able to brace myself for that sudden pain.

"Do you feel numbness or tingling at some points around your ankle?"

"Yeah, my foot has been tingling constantly since I fell" I say slightly unbothered.

It's broken, I know it is.

"It's broken" he states after examining my foot for a few more seconds.

"I know" I tell him, it comes out before I can even think slightly about it.

His head snaps up, "you have a broken ankle which you know about and you don't get it treated!?" He slightly yells.

It takes everything in me not to flinch, "it's doesn't hurt that much" I all I say.

It's better than the truth.

He takes a deep breath to calm himself down.

"You have to get an X-RAY to see if you require surgery or not-" He starts but I cut him off.

"-no, I'm not getting surgery" I say determined.

It's not like I'm scared or nervous for the surgery itself, I could care less about the fact that they'll cut me open. What I care about is that I'll have to wear that robe thingy and they'll see the scars and wounds. That can't happen.

Maybe if I ever trust them in the further- which will probably not happen-, I'll tell them but not now.

"If you need to have surgery, you will have surgery. If you don't have it and your bone moves while healing, it can have serious dangerous consequences" he says calmly.

"If I have to get surgery I will not wear that stupid robe" is all I say which he just laughed at a little.

"Keep your foot up okay" he tells me while lifting my foot on another chair but not before putting my sock back on.

He leaves my shoe of though, saying that the pressure on my swollen ankle will only hurt me more.

My eyes start to get more and more heavy because of the pain medication but I know I have to stay awake for if something happens.

"Go to sleep Tesoro" Angelo says seeing me fighting to keep it as far as I can.

"No" I mutter tiredly as my eyes grow heavier.

I shouldn't have taken that medication.

I hate sleeping, I always get nightmares.

I don't want the nightmares so I don't sleep.

But the painkillers make me so so sleepy that it's almost impossible not to.

"Don't fight it, nothing will happen to you Attie, I'll protect you from now on. I love you" is the last thing I hear before darkness takes a hold of my mind.