But I knew just what to do now. I had made a life plan before I came here and it was time to get right back on the path to achieve it.
Grabbing my laptop I pulled up the website for surgical residency applications. I had already been working on it before my ICU rotation started. Whether it was laziness or hope for something with a someone I hadn't touch the application since this rotation started. Now though, the writing on the wall was clear.
I had to get out of this city asap.
*******
The Next Morning
5:30 am. Shut up stupid phone. I hit snooze
5:35 am. Why won't this stupid thing shut up? I hit snooze
5:45 am. Two more minutes, then I'll get up. I hit snooze.
6:10 am. Oh God, I am late! Damn it! Stupid phone. Why didn't my alarm go off?
6:40 am in the ICU residents room. "Madi, so sorry I am late. My alarm didn't go off this morning"
"That's ok, I just got here too", Madi replied, looking at me with red rimmed puffy eyes. It was obvious she hadn't slept much either. But had she also been crying? My heart was desperate to ask her more. But my mind had had enough of listening to it.
When I sat on the work station next to her, she got up and asked in a hushed tone, "Kylie and her intern are still signing out to the other team, I am going to run and get some coffee. Do you want something from the food court?"
There was something wrong with her, I knew for sure then. I had never heard her talk in such a pained voice. But I ignored my intuition again. I had a vow to keep, a future that I was convinced I had to pursue without her. So I kept quiet and declined her offer.
You don't feel anything for her, I told myself stubbornly.
*******
The overnight team had reported that Noor had a relatively stable night. They were able to take her off epinephrine, the medicine that was helping her heart pump, and her blood pressures had remained stable. They were also able to decrease the ventilator settings, which meant that her lungs were starting to recover.
On rounds Salman was at her bedside, and he nodded to Madi and I as soon as we entered the room. He was holding himself together remarkably well, given everything that had happened. I had to admit too that I was a little surprised at the speed with which I was developing respect for this man. But I guess that was life; unpredictable, yet miraculous, as long as you kept an open mind.
But keep your heart closed, I warned myself too.
While the attending listened to Noor's lungs, Salman said to us, "Do you want to see my daughter's pictures?"
Madi nodded but remained quiet, so unlike her.
"Absolutely", I answered instead.
He whipped out his phone and proudly scrolled through pictures of his tiny daughter in her incubator. As tired as he was, and as stressful as his family's situation was, his fatherly glow was shining through bright and clear.
"She is adorable", Madi exclaimed, finally coming to life. But I averted my gaze from her. I wanted no part of her life.
"Do you guys want to come see her with me after you're done with rounds?", Salman asked.
"I'd love to", she answered immediately.
"I guess I can come too", I replied hesitantly.
*******
BẠN ĐANG ĐỌC
Mending Broken Hearts
Lãng mạn#2 in the desi medical romance series He couldn't get over his ex-fiancé who had unceremoniously broken off their engagement just five days before their wedding. She was engaged to a man who did not respect her or her work. Neither were looking for...
11. Intuition
Bắt đầu từ đầu
