afterthought

confetti and sweat and smiles.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve.

For the first time in five years, Jay has no plans. For the last two years his New Years had been filled with one person. He knew how hard New Year's Eve was for the blonde, and each year with no avail, he had shown up to her apartment with chinese food and enough beers to hydrate a village. This should've been the third consecutive year with her, and instead he only had a series of missed calls to keep him company.

His next option had been Will. But of course, he was on call. Something about New Years being one of the most dangerous holidays, Jay hadn't really listened. So he settled for seeing his brother a day early, and for the most part, celebrating the New Year alone.

He's sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the tv and waiting for the call he knows he won't get when he hears a knock on the door.

He pads to the door and looks through the peephole. Will.

Jay swings the door open, "Hey man, you're early-"

Will pushes past him and into the apartment. "Have you actually gone insane?!" he screeches.

Jay rubs his eyes and stares blankly at his brother. "What?"

Will grumbles and turns to the kitchen to grab a beer.

"So..." Jay follows him in.

"I just talked with Natalie." The redhead starts, then he watches his brother and quirks an eyebrow, "Have you talked with Hailey lately?"

Jay peers at him, "No, I.." he rubs his neck, "I've been trying to reach her but she hasn't been returning my calls."

"Yeah well I wouldn't count on a call if I were you."

Jay nearly leaps out of his chair, "What, is she ok?" he asks, his voice rising.

"No, yeah she's fine. She's ok." Will waves his hand. "You really don't know what happened?"

"No.. I.. I wish I did. Can you clue me in? Because she won't talk to me and I don't know what to do."

Will sighs and rubs a finger over the beer label, peeling it. "Well, she's definitely confused. She uh.. well she saw Isabel." he finishes quietly.

Jay nods and a sinking feeling fills his stomach, "I thought as much." he lowers his head.

"You knew?" Will stares at his brother,  "You knew and didn't call her to clear things up?"

"Do the fourteen missed calls not raise a brow?" Jay says dryly. "I've been trying to reach her, Will. Trust me I have."

"Ok, ok I'm sorry." He relents and throws his arms onto the table. "She's just, she seems really hurt, man, and I don't blame her."

Jay bites his cheek, "Do you think Isabel said something to her? I just don't understand why she's avoiding me, I figured she knew about me breaking up with Isabel."

Will's expression softens at that, "It doesn't seem that way. Maybe she didn't bring it up." he sighs.

Jay slides farther into his seat and rubs his hands over his eyes. "God. I just don't understand how it could get this bad between me and her." When his fingers pull away there are rings beneath his eyes and a silhouette of red brimming his eyelids. Exhaustion and frustration and loss overtake him.

Will stays silent.

"Some part of me wonders how different things would be between us if I hadn't let her go to New York." he mumbles.

Will watches him pitifully. "It's never too late to tell her how you feel."

Jay's stomach clenches. "It's not that simple." he frowns.