afterthought

goodbye near perfect dark-haired girl.

Jay watches as Hailey looks between the team before apologizing and promising to meet up at Molly's the next night, a promise he knows she will break.

He averts his eyes when he sees her looking his way and waves a small goodbye to Kim before shutting the door to his truck. He doesn't leave then though. He watches her because he hasn't really seen her in ages.

He sucks in a breath when he notices the way her eyebrows knit in pain as she ducks into her car. His mind drifts back to the moment in the locker room earlier, how shocked he had been and how that had slowly drifted into a feeling of worry. When he looks back down to his hands they're ghost white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.

He drives off before the blonde can see him.

As he drives he listens to his phone as it lights up with messages. Even stuck in traffic, he doesn't dare pick it up and read them.

When he gets home he lies his stuff down by the door and paces into the living room. By now his entire lock screen is full of messages. A few he recognizes from Will, one or two from Adam, and at least a handful from Isabel. He sighs and tosses his phone onto the couch. He has neither the want nor the patience to call his girlfriend right now. It briefly dawns on him that Isabel should be the person he wants to see after a long day of work, the person he wants to collapse into and fall asleep for the night, the person who should know everything about him. But right now Jay only wants that person to be Hailey.

It makes him feel like a douche. He has a perfectly nice girlfriend with pretty dark hair and a sweet voice who's smart and sensible and listens to him.  But all he wants is Hailey. The far from perfect blonde with a giant heart and a dimpled grin. The one who's passionate and closed off and just a little reckless. The one who makes his heart do deep dives in his chest and the one who can't drive to save her life.

He wants all of her. Even the part that hates him just a little bit.

He thinks about her all the time. Too much to be considered anything less than an obsession if this were any other circumstance.

But then he stops himself, because he can't. She said it herself. They're supposed to be partners. Jay tries to convince himself that that's ok. Even when it's really really not.

The brunette opens a case of beers and pads into his bedroom, leaving his phone behind in the living room, and tries so desperately to stop thinking of the blonde with the dimpled grin.

——————————-

Jay breaks up with Isabel the day after. He realizes he has no fight left in him to pretend like it's working. To pretend like he's not thinking of someone else every time they are together. He hates himself for it, but he knows they're both better off not pretending.

Isabel takes it better than he expects. Almost like she had been ready for it. She smiles sweetly, kisses him goodbye and leans in to whisper something in his ear.

"It's not too late, I can see it in the way she looks at you."

Jay's blood runs cold after that and he watches as Isabel leaves his apartment and drives off. He wants to believe that she's right, even if he knows she isn't. Besides, Isabel has only ever met Hailey one time, and since then things have... changed.

Hailey said it herself. They're meant to be partners. It's not hard to forget, it's been on a loop in his head lately.

She had cried when she left that day, her smooth cheeks tinged a brighter pink than usual, even in the cold. People don't say goodbye and shed tears when there's still a chance left. Jay doesn't think so anyway.