4 hours later and Hailey's pillow was drenched in tears.
Her glass of tequila was shining clean and little beads of the liquid were sliding down the side slowly. Her eyes were raw and glittering with the reflection of the lamp by her bedside. Her hair was damp from the shower she had taken. Her heart was empty.
She had thrown her phone to the edge of her bed hours ago, but she couldn't stop herself from noticing how it lit up with notifications every few minutes. Hailey wondered if Jay's name would be displayed on her screen when she flipped it over. But she decided she was better off not knowing; not knowing couldn't hurt her. So she left it to sink slowly into the comforter.
Hailey peered at the clock to her left. The bright numbers flashed the time: 4:08. The light made her head hurt even more.
It was weird to think that this time next week she would be in New York. Hundreds of miles away in a new city, new surroundings, new people, new unit, new partner.
Six weeks without the only person she's ever known to see the real her. Not the scared one hiding under her brother's bed, tears streaming down both bruised cheeks; not the one running city to city, not the one she introduced in bars when people asked for her name.
It wasn't a new feeling; leaving something behind. So why didn't it feel that way? She didn't realize it until she had lost her thoughts in the depth of her mind.
She'd never lost a part of herself she wanted to keep.
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That night Hailey didn't sleep a single second. She cleaned the coffee table of the beer bottles, flipped through channel after channel, and found a framed picture of just the two of them.
She recognized the picture well, the brick background of the bullpen, the tin can of spilled pens on her desk, the way his smile was soft, and his eyes focused on her and only her.
Clutching the edge of the very last beer, she cried until her eyes were dry and then watched as the sun peaked through her living room window.
It was a new day, and Hailey had lost a piece of herself.
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On the day after, Hailey called in a personal day. It was her very first one of the year and she spent it in bed. Light from the window grew and faded and rain pattered on the glass for hours. Hailey watched the world from her window until she grew sick of the bustle of life and closed the drapes.
When she arrived at work the next day she told Jay she had had a family emergency. She was too drained to feel the least bit guilty lying to him.
She brushed off the look of concern he sent her and walked straight into Voight's office. Voight gave her the usual spiel like nothing had changed and shoved a box in front of her for her things. Hailey said she didn't need it and that she would be coming back.
She wasn't sure if she believed it.
Hailey went the whole week without telling anyone she was leaving. She was sure they hadn't caught on, and it made every smile and joke hurt ten times more. But soon they caught a case and she was free in the wind once more, smile indented by two bold dimples, rain puddles splashing beneath booted feet, and the rest of her family behind her.
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The day before she left Hailey took another personal day, her second one of the year, and spent it packing. She left every valuable thing she owned, hoping it would make sure she returned.
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afterthought
FanfictionHailey has never felt loved, never been in love. When she finally does it gets pried from her unwilling fingers and shattered by her feet. It's useless to try and get it back, so she learns to walk away, and god it would be so easy if it were anyone...
