The Fifth Member (Little Mix/Perrie Edwards gxg) Part 2

Chapter 24

To say she was shocked would be an understatement.

"Proceed." She said simply holding my hand in a comforting way.

"Then, truly without thinking too much about it I said that I don't even know if this was worth it. I accomplished what I wanted but I wasn't happy at all about it. She went on saying how yeah it was worthless and then she talked about how what she lost through us coming out." I said stopping.

What I said after that was the worst thing I could have said.

"Yes?" She said urging me to continue.

I swallowed. What will my mother think of me? What would anyone think of me?

What I said to her wasn't even true. She didn't play victim at all. She tried to distance herself from that title and never wanted to worry anyone. She believed she was a burden and I fueled that belief again with what I said when it wasn't true at all.

I'm a horrible person.

"Petal?" My mam snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore." I cleared my throat standing up.

I heard her sigh and in the kitchen I closed my eyes and tightened my fists.

"God if I could go back in time and stop myself from saying these things I would." I whispered to myself.

How could I ever say what I said? To someone like Beth? Her having a victim complex?

If it at least were accurate then it wouldn't be as bad, but Beth lied and had plans for making us not worry and know.

How can I be so fucking stupid?!

I exhaled heavily balling my hands into fists. How must she be doing right now? She is probably alone God knows where and there aren't even paparazzi pictures of her anywhere.

God I messed up badly.

But so did the girls.

***Flashback***

"It was all because of you!" Leigh exclaimed while we all were at the studio.

"How was it because of us? You guys gave us ideas on how to come out! You guys were just as ecstatic to go to America as we were. All of you always said nothing would ever break Little Mix, that our bond is too strong. How can you possibly blame us for this!" I yelled.

Beth was sitting on the couch quietly looking between us. Jesy was sitting on the chair with her arms crossed and shaking her head. Jade was standing in the corner just looking at me in disbelief, while Leigh and I were standing in front of each other arguing the most right now.

"Yeah we supported you because we are good friends! Every fucking interview somehow turns into the Beth and Perrie Show. Every fucking article, every fucking comment, every fucking song we have written or released lately turns into some sort of letters from you to each other. When you didn't even write them! We became like your backups instead of actual members of Little Mix. Everything is always about you!" Jade said.

"Cry me a fucking river Jade. You're pretending like we can influence anything or change it. Is it our fault people are more attracted to our relationship? Maybe be more interesting!" I said agitated.

"Perrie..." Beth said in a warning tone.

"Don't 'Perrie' me! They are in the wrong here!" I yelled.

She sighed and stopped talking again.

"What can't you even talk with us anymore?" Jesy asked Beth.

"Yeah does Perrie have to fight your battles now?" Jade said crossing her arms.

"No... I'm simply not mental like you and turning on my friends." She said calmly.

"I don't know how we are all fighting even right now. Since when has fame become an important matter to you?" She asked.

"Easy for you to say. After all you have all the attention on you." Leigh said scoffing.

"Gladly have it. If it makes you all stop acting like children." She said sighing.

***Flashback End***