hate that.

happiness.

"and i hate that i hate that"
"you're happy without me"
-----------

dear diary,

its time to admit,
that i am selfish.

today,
my mom just ask me about you.

right.

i didn't tell her about the breakup.

i didn't tell her about my relapse.

i didn't tell her about my thoughts and feelings.

i didn't tell her what happen to us.

and you know what i said?

"we are fine,
he's is still the source of my happiness"

at least i didn't lie of you being my source of happiness.

because you are.

but now.

you are the reason why i relapse.

you are the reason why i breakdown everyday.

but for sure i wont tell her that.

she loves you.

just not much as i do.