Untangling Strings

Chapter Twelve

This day is far from my usual everyday reality that makes me feel uncomfortable because disaster might happen anytime soon. I feel like a magnet attracting negativities from the core of the earth. I reached for my phone and sat on the couch. My thumb just pressed the button, and voila! There was light, and I am expecting a ton of worried and angry messages that will pop before my face.

Now, I am not certain if I will be happy or disappointed that my expectation was not met. I only got two messages, one from mom saying she wired money... She did what? Gosh, mom. I won't be running around like a beggar. But I won't tell her that.

I tap my fingers on my phone, "Thanks, mom. You won't believe what happened to me today, it's surreal, it made me happy for a while." I click Send.

The other message was from dad telling me he misses me and that I take care of myself. He'll be waiting for me to come home.

And I've got nothing from Gab. Our argument flashed back to me, which was the worst we ever had. I can't imagine we just threw awful words at each other. Growing up, we never really fought because he always had a way of understanding me. Maybe we grew apart, and it pains me to think that what mom used to call a 'sticky bond' between us just came to a loose. I am sinking into sadness.

I looked over the window and the garden seemed to be calling me. Maybe a fresh air would help me get through my sorrow.

I wander around the garden, breathing in the fragrance of flowers and the calming moves of gracefully swinging greens. I noticed what I thought was a ruined small gazebo, which turned out to be an I-can't-figure-what-it's-supposed-to-be-called and what seems to be its roof is full of those beautiful flowering vines, and two old wooden swings were hanging. I slowly put my weight on the swing, hoping this is not as frail as me.

"Hey!"

I was frightened by a voice that made me jump on my seat. A voice which sounded familiar to my ears. I looked around and found Piece walking towards me from behind.

"Afraid that one wrong move and you'll fall on that thing?"

"Yeah. Maybe? I don't know."

He sat on the other swing, "So, what brought you here?"

"This is still part of the B&B, right? Then, I suppose I am not trespassing or anything."

He chuckled, "No, no. It just surprised me seeing you out. You are the type of guest who's not fond of exploring the outside."

In my defensive tone, "Definitely not. I just did a morning run earlier."

"Oh, did you? But you've spent lunch and the afternoon here. Most of our guests are out roaming around town."

"I know Greenwoods. I've been to the town proper several times. Neighboring town, remember?"

"Yeah, but there's so much more in this town."

"Like the spring?"

I can't tell if he's amused or just shocked, "You went there?!"

"I did, just this morning," in a proud tone of mine.

"Nobody discovers that place on their first day. Wow!"

"Yeah. I'm thankful my feet brought me there. Even for just a moment, I felt like everything in my life is alright."

He's staring at me, "You do have a deep wound, don't you?"

I nodded while looking straight, as far as my sight could reach. "I really don't have a clue on how to fix things, or if it'll ever be fixed."

"Looks like you could really use some time alone." He stood up and left.

How I wish things were simple, and problems exist along with a given equation. This isn't basic mathematics. My life has million square roots, unsolved Xs and Ys, trigonometric identities, and a lot more complicated stuff. And as someone who hates Math, this is far from being solved.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. It's mom.

"Hi, mom."

"Hope! I keep thinking about you, sweetie. I just called to make sure you're okay. How are you doing?"

"I'm actually good. How 'bout you and everyone else?"

"I'm at the shop right now. Your dad and Gabriel are worried sick."

"Yeah, dad sent me a message. But nothing from Gabriel."

"He's hurt, Hope. When he found out you left, he didn't bother to sit for breakfast. I talked to him, it's a sibling fight, and everyone gets over it after some time."

I was silent. And there goes a sob coming from me because I can't hold it back anymore. "Mom..."

"Oh, sweetie."

I took deep breaths, "I'm okay, I will be. I just can't figure things out right now, and it hurts like hell mom. I- I can't even open up to you. It hurts so much."

"I want to be there with you, Hope. But if you really need some time and space, I won't get in your way. You can always call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks." I ended the call and continued sobbing like a freaking toddler. Damn it! I thought I'm starting to get better. I feel like I'm stuck in this endless loop of bullshit.

There was a gentle tap on my shoulder. I wiped away my tears and looked up, there's Olive holding a cup.

"You don't have to say a word. Here, I got you a hot cocoa." She carefully handed me the cup and sat on the other swing. "You know, if there's one thing I learned in my fifty-six years of existence, it is that life does not favor anyone, and it isn't always kind. You have to fight for what you believe you deserve." She stood up and tapped my shoulders, "No one will prepare and hand you happiness, contentment, or even success, the way I prepared the cocoa and handed you that cup. You gotta stir and give it to yourself."