Just the Coffee Boy. Promise.

Tommy Finally Does the Whole... Vigilante Thing...

It was Tommy's day off.

Wow.

A whole day to himself. Sounds great.

Not at all.

Tommy is incredibly bored out of his mind. He's resorted to trying to see constellations in the popcorn ceiling of his apartment.

"Oh wow look it's the big dipper."

It's the only one he's found while lying there for literal hours.

He's pointed it out to himself about 15 times. It's pretty sad.

Tommy needs to do something. It's crime time. He takes the small mouse from his pocket and looks into his eyes, "Henry, you are amazing, you are stunning, and I have no idea how you're still alive."

Henry did not respond, but instead opted for quaking in fear.

Tommy slipped his shoes on and put Henry back into his pocket.

The stairs in the complex were hardly stairs at this point, more so glorified sticks. Tip-toeing carefully on the wood Tommy successfully made the first couple of stairs. On the last one however his foot went straight through. "Awh what the fuck," Tommy yanked his foot out of the rotten plank and set it gingerly on the concrete floor. He shifted his weight carefully. His foot stung a bit, but it wasn't unwalkable.

Considering how well his last attempt at Crime TimeTM went, he might just go visit Sam's instead.

"FIRE! THERE'S A FIRE! PLEASE! HELP!"

Or not.

Tommy walked briskly over to the lady who was screaming fire. It wasn't a fire. Instead a man stood over her, pinning her hands to a wall in a definitely not gentle way.

Yeah, Tommy was not about to just stand there and watch this happen. "HEY LET HER GO!"

He probably could've said something more original, but it was a spur of the moment kind of thing.

"And who do you think you are?", the man replied, loosening his grip on the girl slightly. That's good, he can keep him talking, he's good at that.

"Well I like to call myself Tommy Careful Danger Kraken Innit, but you can call me Tommy, the most poggers man to exist, aside from Philza Minecraft of course. Once my friend told me I should change my name to Tommy I'm An Idiot Innit because I tripped over a garbage can in our flat but it wasn't really my fault-"

"Oh my god kid shut up." Looser grip.

"I don't think I will, who are you my dad?"

The man was barely gripping the women's wrists at this point, and she took the opportunity to knee the man in the balls and run.

At this point Tommy should've also ran however Tommy, well he's Tommy.

Tommy being Tommy happened to have a couple zip ties in his pocket. So he zip tied the dude up, kicking him once more in the balls for good measure.

"Well my job is done here. Bye."

The man didn't respond and frankly Tommy was glad, he didn't really want to have a conversation with him.

But it did feel good to beat him up and help that girl.

Maybe he would take up a little bit of good crime, since the bad crime seemed to not work out for him.

He would need a suit first. And then probably need to snag a cop radio, or ask Tubbo to hack into the system for him.

No.

Tommy steps into a small corner shop. Karl's Thrift Emporium. Interesting.

The bell gave a small jangle, contrary to a jingle, which sounds more fine, the jangle sounded old and worn.

Which was strange considering the interior of the place. It was littered with tons of things, some things look like they were from the 1600's but then there were also things that looked to be unreleased communicators and top notch equipment.

Hero level stuff.

"Hello?", a mop of curly brown hair emerged from a stack of books, "What can I help you with?" The man seemed friendly enough.

"I was looking for a hoodie, and maybe some goggles?" Tommy asked hesitantly.

"Sure," Karl nodded and started to weave through the stacks, "right this way."

Tommy followed and watched as Karl muttered to himself and picked things up seemingly at random. The shop was strange, there was an aura of calm but from where he couldn't identify.

Tommy spaced out at some point, sure he probably shouldn't let his guard down in a forgien location with someone he's never met, but something about the place was just, nice. They weaved through the store between books and trinkets long forgotten. It smelled dusty, like an old library. There was also a metallic smell though and he chalked it up to the old metal collectables that lined the shelves.

"Will this do?" Karl held a red t-shirt and a white hoodie up.

"Good enough for me bossman." Tommy gave him a grin and Karl handed him clothes before starting to search for presumably a pair of goggles.

Soon after he thought that Karl held up some red tinted steampunk goggles. "These good too? Or are you looking for something a little more futuristic?"

Tommy shook his head, "Nope those look great."

Karl nodded and began to lead him back to the front of the store to check out.

This was one of the best ideas that Tommy had ever had. Ever. This was great.

»»———-　　———-««

This was not great, not at all. Good crime was an awful idea, a fucking awful idea.

Tommy punched the criminal in the side and he barely flinched.

He was in deep shitttttttttttttt-

A kick from the criminal man landed directly in his chest.

There was a crack.

And Tommy was knocked on his ass.

The criminal made the mistake of walking over to see if he was down because that was when Tommy struck.

He punched the man right in the nose. The cartilage cracked under his fingers and Tommy internally winced at the feelings. The criminal stumbled, but wasn't down yet, so Tommy just punched him again. His hit landed and the man fell over. Finally goddamn. Tommy tenderly walked over to the man and prodded him with his foot. Yeah, the criminal man was definitely unconscious.

Tommy dusted off his pants and walked from the alleyway. Another job done another helpless civilian sav-

Then the pain hit.

Then he realized how rattled his breaths were getting.

Then he noticed the darkness creeping in from all angles.

What was he doing? Wait, where even was he?

He stumbled, the blackness impairing his vision. He managed to lean against a wall of some sort right before it all went away.

A blur of yellow in a small crack of light amongst the dark and it all went black.

He wouldn't die here. He would just, pog through the pain.

Like he always does.

He'd just do it all again.

He'd just do it all again.