Just the Coffee Boy. Promise.

Tommy tries to rob a literal hero

Tommy woke up again.

Unfortunately.

He groaned and popped all his bones, uncurling from the uncomfortable spot on the floor. The sun still glared in his eyes, probably amplified by the window, he doesn’t know he’s not a fucking scientist. Tubbo is.

He shot a text to his employer telling him that he couldn’t come into work due to family issues.

Tommy made his way to the kitchen and looked for his friend. He gently opened each cabinet before moving to pulling open drawers in a semi-desperate attempt to find his roommate.

“There you are Henry! I thought you had left!” Tommy gingerly scooped the mouse up and held him at eye level to get a better look at him. The mouse was scrawny, brown, and literally just a regular mouse.

“Henry you are the most amazing mouse I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, would you like to come with me to job hunt?” The little mouse made a squeak in response, and Tommy’s eye lit up in delight.

“Well then Henry,” he said putting the mouse in the front pocket of his hoodie, “It’s time to find a legal way to acquire food or money.”

»»———-　　———-««

Tommy had run into the same problem again. People really did not want to hire a hybrid that was notorious for stealing. Not that Tommy himself has ever stolen something. He might be a criminal, but he wasn’t going to steal.

Well on the other hand…

Yeah he was totally going to steal something.

Stealthily, Tommy crept behind a man with robes who looked very rich in his opinion. It could’ve also just been a cosplayer for a hero or something, but Tommy could really just care less.

Still creeping behind the man, Tommy noticed and alley and decided now was the perfect time to embrace his discrimination.

“Alley now bitch.” 

The man spun around to meet Tommy fear flashing before an unsettling clam washed over him. That wasn’t going to stop Tommy though. He slammed the man into the alley wall. “Give me your fucking money.”

The man chuckled, seemingly comfortable with Tommy practically choking him. “Mate I don’t think you want to do this.”

And Tommy froze. 

Green robes, striped bucket hat, hardhore heart above his real one.

Shit. 

He was trying to rob Philza Minecraft. Wow he really does not have the best of luck.

He shook himself out of his stupor, “Listen man, just give me some money and nobody has to get hurt okay?”

Philza wiggled a bit and Tommy tightened his hands around the hero’s neck.

The was a pause were neither moved, just looking at each other, challenging each other.

“I’m sorry I can’t do that.” and Tommy’s abdomen exploded with pain.

He let go and stumbled into the other wall. He slid down the brick and held his stomach fighting tears.

“Oh my god are you okay, that shouldn’t have hurt that bad. I should’ve known it wasn't just a self defense move Techno taught it to me-” The hero took a deep breath and crouched down next to Tommy. “I’m sorry mate. Can I look at your stomach and chest so I can make sure I didn’t break any ribs?”

No you cannot in fact look at my chest and stomach bitch.

Despite his inner monologue Tommy nodded anyway. “‘M h’rts”.

“I know kiddo, can you take a deep breath?” 

Tommy took a deep breath as the Philza minecraft checked his stomach to make sure he was okay.

He heard a gasp and looked at the hero’s shocked face. “You have at least a broken rib, shit, kid I need to take you to a hospital.”

Tommy shook his head frantically, he couldn’t go to a hospital, not a legal one anyway.

Philza sighed and massaged his temple. 

Tommy just stared off into space. His ribs and stomach actually didn’t hurt anymore.

“Hey Mr. Minecraft I’m sorry for trying to rob you and don’t take me to jail or a hospital, but I have to go now.” Tommy stood shakily leaning on the alley wall for support. Philza just gaped at him as he began to walk out of the alley. He was walking fine, beside nursing his left rib a little bit, but you wouldn’t have known if you thought he didn’t have a broken rib.

But that’s when Philza saw the tail and the ears.

His tail was gray with rings of black, and matted beyond belief. He was a raccoon Hybrid.

Now that should’ve been Philza’s first warning of “don’t mess with me” however his stupid bird brain was all like “small child, take care of now”.

So logically when Philza came running after him he started to run away, but with his broken rib and just being generally out of shape Philza caught him pretty quick.

He felt him grab his hood and flinched, tensing his muscles in preparation for the hit that was to come.

But it didn’t.

And somehow that hurt worse.

Philza gently pulled Tommy towards him and guided him down the sidewalk. He was talking about something, but Tommy could’ve cared less. However the mention of food did catch his attention.

“Do you want to have a sandwich or something? You look hungry and I do not want you in the dumpsters.”

Tommy smiled up at Philza, “Sure big man. As long as there aren’t any hospitals I’m good.”

Philza chuckled, but there was a tone of worry in it that set off all the alarms in Tommy’s head. “How about I have The Blade check you out okay mate? No hospitals needed.”

Tommy pondered the offer. On one hand, free healthcare! On the other, probal death. Seems like a win-win situation to him. 

So Tommy nodded and the Philza Minecraft #1 hero of L’manburg lead him to his home.

He was letting a raccoon hybrid like himself into his home. For food and first aid.

How in the hell did he manage that.

He was literally mugging the man an hour ago and now he was standing on his porch as he fondled with the key.

“BOYS I’M HOME! TECHNO PLEASE COME DOWN WITH THE FIRST AID KIT!”

Loud “OKAY DAD”’s were sent back and soon a tall man with curly brown hair and the ugliest yellow sweater he had ever seen thundered down the stairs.

Philza grimaced and looked from Wilbur to Tommy and back to Wilbur.

This was not going to go well.