Asher: Observe my horned friends!
[He grabs the bottle of water and pours it into the opening in the barrel. He then grabs the flare and lighter and quickly lights the flare and chucks it into the barrel. He hastily grabs the cap to the barrel and closes it tightly. He turns around and runs away from the barrel.]
Asher: RUN AWAY!!!
[The demons around him immediately all scatter in different directions. Some take cover behind mailboxes, trashcans, or even in an alleyway. Asher on the other hand takes cover behind a concrete roadblock. Jerry and the Demon Gang Boss just watch the scene unfold completely confused. A few seconds later, nothing happens. The Demons, including Asher all, peek out of cover.]
Demon Gang Member 1: Nothing happened!
Asher: Wait for it...
[Nothing happe-]
*BOOM*
[The barrel explodes and goes flying in the air, rocketing past the roofs of all the buildings in the street. The barrel travels so high into the sky that nobody can see it anymore. All the demons including Asher leave their cover and walk out into the street. Asher seems pleased with himself.]
Asher: There's the boom!
Demon Gang Member 2: FUCK YEA!
Demon Gang Member 3: WHOOOOOO!!!
Demon Gang Member 4: Awesome.
Asher: Right? There's an endless amount of entertaining things you can do with explosions! And fire! Don't forget fire. *Happy Sigh* Entertaining fire...
[Back in the alleyway with Jerry and the Demon Gang Boss, they watch the barrel fly into the sky and disappear. They then look back at each other as Jerry rubs the back of his head.]
Jerry: He's uhh... He's a new guy I hired.
Demon Gang Boss: You hired an apprentice?
Jerry: Not really... He's kinda like a... Like a housemaid.
Demon Gang Boss: So an intern?
Jerry: No. He's more like a hobo I took off the streets and pay to help me out around my workshop.
[The Demon Gang Boss stares at Jerry confused. After a few seconds of silence he snaps his fingers.]
Demon Gang Boss: So he's a sex slave.
Jerry: No!
Demon Gang Boss: Hey. You do whatever you want. I ain't gonna judge.
[Jerry facepalms.]
Jerry: *Sigh* Goddamnit.
[Meanwhile back in the middle of the street. Asher and the rest of the Demons look at the burn marks on the ground where the barrel once was.]
Demon Gang Member 1: Heh. That was cool.
Asher: Oh-ho-ho! The fun isn't done yet, my friends!
Demon Gang Member 5: What do you mean?
Asher: Simple!
[Asher smiles, crosses his arms, and points up with his right hand.]
Asher: What goes up-
*Whistling Noise*
*BONK*
Asher: -Must come down.
[The barrel, the same one that exploded, comes falling from the sky and hits the 5th Demon Gang Member right on his head. The barrel falls to the side still smoking a bit while the Demon that got hit falls backward onto the ground unconscious. The other Demons, including Asher, look at the Demon that got hit on the head for a few seconds in silence. Then the 3rd Demon points at the 5th one and laughs.]
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Headaches & Hazbins: Book 1: New Kind of Life, New Kind of Hell
FanfictionYa either go up or down... A small-time robber, Asher C. Burns, takes the trip down after he meets his end in an attempt to save his boss from life in prison at Alcatraz. After death, he finds himself in the chaotic hellhole of Pentagram City. Now p...
Chapter 5: Workaholics
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