Silver Linings (Andy Barber)

-8-

One Month Later

"How are you doing since we last spoke?" Dr Dyers asked as Andy sipped some water at the beginning of another session. They'd now changed to every fortnight instead of every week as the therapist felt like Andy had made some progress.

Andy nodded and sat back on his chair. "Good...yeah I feel a bit more settled here and job's going fine. Errrr what else?" he thought. "Oh got back into my morning swim recently."

"Goooood." Dyers drawled as he wrote down his notes. "And is the swimming helping do you think?"

"Always used to, kinda gets me more ready for the day – awake and stuff."

Dyers nodded and looked at him. "Now, you're making progress, but there's obviously the subject that we need to talk about..."

Andy rubbed his beard, the stress beginning to rise. He knew exactly what Dyers wanted him to talk about, and he'd been putting it off every session. "I...I don't think..."

"Andy, you have to sometime..." Dyers stated kindly. "I know the subject of the accident is hard, but it's the main trigger, and we need to chip away at it."

"I know..."

"Andy, what happened on the day that Jacob and Laurie died?"

"Other than my wife crashing the car deliberately?" Andy threw him a look and then sighed. "Started off just like normal – I was packing as we were planning to move to Colorado and Laurie took Jake for a haircut..." he trailed off.

Dyers awaited his response, but upon receiving none he pressed on, "Andy?"

He shook his head. "Sorry...I erm, I found Jacob's baby book in the trash..."

The therapist now noted this down. "I see...and how do you think it got there? Could it have fallen..." he was cut off by Andy.

"She chucked it out like it was garbage!" Andy now fumed, having held it in for so long. "Our son! Hos memories! She just threw them away like he was just another piece of trash and then..." he paused and calmed, swallowing the lump in his throat. "She took him away from me."

Dyers waited and gestured to the cup of water. "Drink..."

Andy did, washing the lump in his throat back down and then looking at Dyers. "Sorry..."

"It's progress. You're confronting the memory that triggers you the most." Dyers explained as he carried on writing. "Andy. Why do you think Laurie threw the book away? Have you ever asked yourself that or has anyone ever asked you?"

"Only Neal."

"Neal?"

"The asshole that I worked with – he had to question me so as they could determine whether the crash was an accident or not. Of course I was going to defend my wife, I didn't think it had been intentionally caused." He started to feel irritable.

Dyers continued writing. "So going back to the earlier question – why do you think Laurie threw Jacob's book away?"

Andy stared out of the window. "I thought about it before, and the more I thought about it I realised that she'd become disconnected, not just from Jake but from me too...the trial and something that happened in Mexico just made her withdraw...especially from Jacob."

"You said in previous sessions you always believed your sons innocence."

"Yes. Always. He's a good kid." Andy advocated, "Sure he did some stupid shit but we all did at his age."

Dyers nodded. "Did you think Laurie believed that he was innocent? Did she ever share her doubts?"

"Looking back and thinking about it more? How she was? No..." The knife lodged in his heart twisted some more. "I'll never get to ask her why, but deep down I know that she did what she did because it was something to do with that." It was the first time he'd even admitted that to himself let alone another person.

He hadn't discussed it with anyone, not even Genevieve and she'd not questioned him on the subject. She'd been respectful as to not press him for any details if something about Jacob had come up in casual conversation either.

Dyers put his notebook down and smiled. "More progress...I'm pleased." And looked at Andy. "So...have you anyone other than me to talk to when times do get overwhelming? Remember we spoke about lifelines?"

Andy smiled to himself. "Genevieve."

"And who is she?"

"A friend...she's...well, she's great. We knew each other when I lived here as a kid and she was still here when I came back..." He said, launching into about what they'd done and how they seemed to be helping each other. "And she's got a daughter who's...well she's just beautiful..." 

Every time Andy thought of Cora it brought a smile to his face. Gen had sent him the picture she'd taken of them at the park and whenever he felt shit, he always looked at it. Babies could be rather therapeutic at times and Cora certainly was. Her little features were changing week by week and a few weeks prior, Gen had sent a video of her smiling for the first time. Andy would be lying if he didn't say that his heart had melted. 

Dyers watched on and nodded every so often. "She seems like a good lifeline to have; you seem happy when you speak about her." He said about Genevieve. 

Andy glanced out of the window again. "She's the only real friend I ever had. Probably the only one I've got now, then again I've never exactly been sociable. I should probably work on that..."

"All in good time. You don't want to overload yourself, but you are doing well Andy. I'm really pleased." 

"Me too...feels like I'm starting to feel alive again." 

Checking his phone as he left Dyers office, Andy saw a text from Gen and opened it. Hope your day is going better than mine - Vaccinations, need I say more? It was followed by a picture of Gen giving an unimpressed look and thumbs down while Cora looked pretty annoyed.

He laughed and called her immediately. "How's the patient?" he asked, hearing Cora in the background, and she didn't sound too happy. 

"Ergh, well the temperature has hit and she's pissed, so I've just given her some medicine - you had therapy today?" 

"Just left, it was...heavy..." He admitted. 

Gen's voice softened. "Do you need baby cuddles?" 

"I really think I do need baby cuddles." He chuckled gently, "And by the sounds of it, Cora needs an Andy cuddle." 

" She certainly does at this point. You ate yet?" 

"Nope." 

"Come over, I'll whip us up something while you two hug it out." 

He grinned. "You do realise I owe you for the last meal you cooked me." 

Gen snorted. "Are you even eating properly?" 

"Getting back into it..." He told her. Another area of progress made. Getting back into eating proper meals and not crap. 

"I'll see you when you get here, I'm cooking - no protests!" She told him adamantly and hung up.