The truth in our songs

Chapter 58

,, Well, I see you are doing amazingly fine ,, I snapped at him, my hands still on that table, my eyes still formed to slits and me still furious ,, You sadly survied although I would have loved to come to your funreal to spit on your grave myself ,,

,, Of course you do ,, he mumbled and took a bite of his meat. ,, Your brother didn't push me off of my throne, your brother didn't throw me out, didn't make me beg for surrender. So even if I would know anything about his plans- I wouldn't reveal them to you. He might be stupid many times but if it comes to you, he is more than just intelligent- he is up for revenge. He wants you to bleed. ,, he chuckled again as if nothing had to do anything with him at all.

,, Is he making business with Alaister? ,, I demanded to know and my father looked up with raised eyebrows ,, He told me, you two became part of him ,,

,, I would never subdue myself to anyone. ,, he replied with pride in his words although I could see that he knew more than I did. Still, there was no room for pride, he'd lost everything he'd once had. ,, Your brother on the oher hand- ,, he rubbed his beard ,, You know him- he's like a dog, always runs when he's called, always sits when he's told to. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd let himself be taken in by them. I mean what does he have to lose? He hasn't got anything. But he might serve them as a spy against you and he is stupid enough to will in since he hates you enough to point a gun at you without hesitation. ,, he choped another piece of meat away and poked his fork down and into it.

,, You just let the world crash down around you? And hide in you big ass fucking castle all by yourself, with servants who are terrfied for their lives and dusty food for your filthy mouth? ,, I laughed at him and his eyes narrowed ,, How is it always the dirt that never vanishes? ,, I asked him, leaned over the table even though he was way too far away and he lowered his fork to his side ,, It alway remains in the corners ,, my eyes locked with his ,, So tell me father- as dirt you remain unseen because at some time people are tired of looking at you and you can watch in silence. You sit in this mansion all day, without anything to do and you see nothing? Is that what you try to tell me? ,, I came around the table and walked toward him, he didn't bother move, there was no fear in him I might kill him, he just looked at me and waited for me to adjust him.

,, You know the reason why you succeeded back then as a leader and are failing now as one? ,, my father asked me with his raspy voice that should have died out a long time ago ,, Because there was no one to focus on, no one to care for, no one to be weak for. Your brother- he was always weak- the ugly side of weak. But you were weak like your mother and you still are- you carry a heart too weak to not love and too weak to fight for it. ,, he took his wineglass swiftly into his wrinkly hand and took a sip out of it before he carried on ,, Your brother could have been strong, if he wouldn't have always wanted everything you had. But despise your tenderness with life you were powerful because I  made you become powerful- ,,

,, -You killed, to force me to become who you wanted me to become ,, I interrupted him and his eyes briskly found my stare.

,, You never forgave me, did you? ,, he then asked and a smile spread across his face, amusement ,, Your heart still craves for that useless little girl on the fields, doesn't it? ,, he watched me closely for a second before his eyes widened with realization as i remained silent ,, No...that's not it. ,, he said more to himself ,, There is someone else- another girl ,, something flashed in the old brown of his eyes ,, You fell for another thing, again ,, he began chuckling again and I stood beside him and smashed his face down into the place forcefully as soon as my hands rached out to grab him by the neck. A groan escaped his lips.

,, And I will end your useless, unlovable and superflouos life if you don't tell me right now what Benjamin plans and where he is ,, I told him in a snarl that sent a signal down his awareness. ,, Believe me father- ,, i spat the words down his face as I pressed his face tighter into the plate and into the sharp bones of the meat on it, that bored into his skin. ,,-I will not hesitate but shove that knife right down your throat. I will not hesitate slitting you open and letting you bleed on the floor, I will rip your heart out with my own hands and crush it, I will cut out your eyes and wear them as the yewels in my crown- ,, he groaned further in pain ,, Talk- ,, I hissed at him.