Cheesy Movie | ONC translation

Scene four

When you tease a snake with your bare feet, there's always a moment when the reptile runs out of patience and bites your leg. If you light a fuse, the fire must inevitably crawl up to the bomb and blow up everything within a few metres. And Arnošt was in the same situation.

His neighbor had long been trying his patience with that terrific music, and now the moment had come when his nerves cracked like the strings of a dusty old violin.

He won't stand this for one more second! He's got rights, and one of them is definitely, 'You don't have to listen to any rock music on Sundays!' And Arnošt was going to claim his right.

With the fury of an exasperated rattlesnake in his eyes, Arnošt stood up abruptly from the table, pushed his way through the junk that was strewn about the floor of his room, and with a furious huffing and angry stamping, staggered across the narrow dark hallway with broken bulbs in the lamp to his neighbour's door.

In situations like this, before confronting someone, it's best to think about what you want to say to the person in question. If you summarize it in your mind beforehand, it's easier to convince the person of the truth of your opinion and you can resolve everything with them through reasonable conversation and without swearing... yeah, that's easy to say when you're calm, but try to stick to it when you're listening to the same song for the tenth time that day and all you want is a moment of silence.

So Arnošt knocked on the door with one thought in mind - he'd smash that bastard's damn loud radio on his head and make him eat the shreds of the CD he'd been listening to for at least fourteen hours a day for the last week.

Removing his fist, red with rage, from the cracked green paint that covered the entire door, he took a deep breath... which provided him with just the one second he needed to realize that walking up to his neighbor and starting smashing things up probably wasn't exactly the ideal solution. Only he didn't have enough time left for the aforementioned deep thought, so when the door opened to reveal the cheerful round face of his neighbor, whom he had only ever called 'That Stupid Rocker' in his mind, but who went by the name of Lord in his professional life, he couldn't muster anything more confident than, "Hello, neighbor. Could I have a word with you for a second?

"Of course, kid! You see, at my age, one sits at home all day and is glad to have someone to talk to!" Lord said with a broad smile.

What Arnošt did not know was that Lord's life, even in retirement, was more exciting than his would ever be.

"Sure... it's more of a plea than a conversation... you know..." stammered Arnošt, trying in vain to squeeze something coherent out of himself.

Lord noticed his embarrassment, smiled at him like an uncle at a child who had broken a window and didn't know how to admit it to the owner of the incriminated apartment, and said kindly, "Would you prefer to come inside so we can talk about it?"

Arnošt wanted to refuse. He wanted to tell Lord that all he was asking him to do was to turn down the radio a little, but the strange elderly gentleman seemed to have some strange spell in him that took from his tongue all the words that had been circulating in his mind only a few seconds before, and instead of a soaring speech, only an embarrassed whimper escaped his lips. Arnošt sighed deeply, and rather than embarrass himself further, silently accepted the Lord's invitation.

With a devilishly charming look, Lord ushered him into his living room and merely folded his hands proudly at his sides as Arnošt began to look around his museum of aquatic creatures in amazement. Lord was always pleased when his guests appreciated the unusualness of his dwelling.

Arnošt, who was glad to be able to break away from the monotonous reality of his life, which was by the way the last thing he had imagined when he had decided to write screenplays in his youth, was suddenly willing to forget everything. Maybe he'd have a cup of tea with that sympathetic pensioner and get going again. He couldn't be angry with such a friendly gentleman for just wanting to listen to some music, could he? He could go to the café to write, it wasn't that big a deal after all...