Falling Up

26. Talk

"It was an accident," Riley started but got cut off quickly as the usual anger of Jason started to rear its head. This was the Jason she was used to.

"An accident?" said Jason, getting up off the bed in frustration, inadvertently causing him to tower over her as she remained seated at her desk. "How was getting drunk an accident? Did someone force the booze down your throat? I can't have you being this reckless Riley. You're not even 21."

She hated this. It was always double standards. One for her and one for her brothers. And she knew it would only make things worse, but she couldn't help but talk back to him. "You and Noah were drinking at my age. What's the difference?" 

"You know the difference Riley. What do you think is going to happen if you get wasted and stoned all the time? I will not have you become dependent on that shit. You're still recovering."

"I've recovered enough," said Riley. "I want to get back to living a life that I never had a chance to. I want to make friends and go to parties and make mistakes. I want my childhood back!"

She didn't mean to say it like that. Not to Jason. But she had lost so much of her childhood not only at the hands of her stepfather's cruelty but also in the years it took her to recover. And she was trying hard to move on, but sometimes she slipped back into her old mindset.

Jason took a seat back down on the bed, his anger subsiding as a look of sadness crossed his face. "I'm sorry. I truly am Riley. I want more than anything to go back and..."

"No. Don't. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. But I want more freedom. I feel like you're ready to lock me back into a cage."

"You can have more freedom back when I trust you not to risk your own life. You're still healing. Don't think I can't see you drift off mindlessly more than you should be and don't get me wrong, it's a massive improvement but at the end of the day, you're not like everyone else Riley."

That statement hurt.

But he was right. She wasn't like everyone else. She wasn't like every other girl her age and she hated to be reminded of it. And she was annoyed in a way that Jason had picked up on her habit of staring mindlessly out of the window or taking a while to answer back when she was asked a question. She tried so hard to appear normal but truth be told, she wasn't sure what normal was half the time.

There were times when she felt like a woman, mature beyond her years at the hardships she endured. Other times, she felt like a ten year old child, wanting to explore and ask questions about every little thing there was. And finally there was the part of her that was still stuck in the past, a part of her that she wished she could get rid of but it still lingered, painful at times but manageable. Riley was definitely not like other college students her age.

Jason got up off the bed and headed to the bedroom door, opening it. "You don't have to like me for this but I will do whatever is necessary to keep you safe." He stepped through the door, closing it behind him, leaving Riley to slump back into her chair.

Great. Grounded.

She tilted her head back up to the ceiling, hearing Jason's footsteps disappear back down the hallway. She was frustrated, but not really at Jason. If anything, she blamed Kain for getting on her nerves so much that she wanted to show him up for once.

He always wore that smug grin in front of her and it seemed like he got everything he wanted. A nice house to live in, good grades, star football player, heaps of friends and man was he good looking. He could have the pick of any woman he wanted and she was sure that he had his fair share.

At least she won the game. The wrath of Jason was worth it just to see him finally lose at something. Riley thought back on the deal she made with him and she was kind of regretting that she asked for study help for the next exam as it meant that she had to spend more time with him. Hopefully he would forget and she could just move on from it.

But there was something about him that just got under skin. It was like he was irritating her on purpose but she couldn't pinpoint why. He didn't seem to get annoyed by anyone else. In fact, he was the complete opposite and she would have never believed anyone that he was a genuine nice guy if she didn't witness it herself.

The way he acted towards others baffled her. He was always nice and polite, charming in a way and he held a confidence and modesty she had never seen in anyone before.

Yet when it came to her, he was downright childish and to be perfectly honest, a bit of a bully.

She groaned, getting up off the chair as she sat on the edge of her desk, looking out the window into the distance. It must be her. She must have done something to him that she wasn't aware of. As usual, it was probably her fault.

Riley ran her hand through her hair, stressed at the whole situation. First thing she would do when she saw him next would be to apologise. It was the only thing she could do. And to be honest, she hadn't even apologised for running out on him the other morning after he looked after her that evening. God, she felt terrible for that.

She just hoped it would be enough. Dealing with people on a social level was new to her but she hated the thought that she could have done something to upset someone. She knew all too well what it was like to feel put down at the hands of another and she didn't want anyone to feel bad because of her.

So the next thing she would do when she saw Kain, would be to apologise. She just hoped it would be enough to stop this bullying attitude he had for her. All she could do was try.