Oleander - Bucky BarnesxOC

CHAPTER NINETEEN: GREEN LIGHT

"Of course I am, Dahlia. Whatever Peter told you, it's not true. We don't talk about our personal lives."

"Even though he drives you around for hours?" She inquires.

She watches James's jaw tick and suddenly feels bad for pushing too hard. He aggressively grates some parmesan cheese into the pan, continuing to stir.

"I keep it professional, Dahlia."

She nods and bites the inside of her cheek.

"Sorry."

"Do you think I'm lying to you?" James asks as he pours sauce on the pasta. He's staring right at her and Dahlia suddenly feels very uncomfortable.

"I—"

"Dahlia, you said you didn't want this relationship to be based on lies."

"I don't!"

"So, don't lie to me." His eyes are icy and cold, sending a shiver down her spine. Dahlia becomes somewhat defiant, drawing herself up.

"I don't want to fight."

"This isn't a fight," James says softly. He shifts tactics faster than people change clothes. He looks like a completely different person. Dahlia begins to get nervous. Her palms sweat and she can feel her heart beginning to race. He tilts his head.

"I'm asking you a question."

She can feel herself getting cagey and defensive. Her mother used to do this - poke and prod for answers, and then she would explode. Dahlia is bracing herself for the worst, for kicks and punches, and holes in walls. She's bracing for broken bottles and a screaming match, because it's what she grew up with. Complete and utter chaos. Police sirens outside became a kind of sick soundtrack to her youth. It's why she's never been great at relationships. Once the honeymoon phase dies out and things start to get hard, and arguments become just a little more commonplace, she bolts, looking for Mr. Perfect. Dahlia knows it's bullshit - she's watched enough videos on relationship advice and read enough books to know that conflict is natural in human relationships, it's how we navigate it that matters. She's just never gotten a handle on that journey.

"You're interrogating me."

His face softens and he sighs softly.

"Dahlia."

Now he's patronizing her. She can feel her mother's temper flaring in her chest and that combative nature comes crawling back. It's like she can't escape it.

"James."

There's a long pause between them and she sighs softly. James smiles at her and it's disarming.

"You're scared," he observes.

"No."

"You are. Of me?"

"These conversations have always ended badly. Historically."

James reaches across the table and grasps her hands.

"I'm not angry. I'm not interested in having a screaming match. I just want to know the truth so that we can address it. My parents always let things fester."

"So did mine," she whispers through tears.

"Okay. Then let's not be them."

She doesn't want to be. James is the one person she actually wants things to work out with. He's so unbelievably sweet to her. Dahlia takes a deep breath.

"I was worried that you might be, but I don't know what your working relationship with Peter is like." Her face feels hot with shame and she looks down at the counter as she takes a deep breath. "It's that paranoia thing I was telling you about. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop."