Oleander - Bucky BarnesxOC

CHAPTER TWELVE: RUN TO ME

A/N: The idea for the romance novel came from  aniftyreader - thank you for the suggestion!

CONTENT WARNING: FULL BLOWN SMUT. For the sake of honesty, I wrote most of this smut after I had an edible, so I am absolutely not going to apologize for how wild this gets. WE'RE GETTING INTO IT. Choking, knife kink, spanking, inappropriate use of books, spit kink, a RAGING daddy kink, degradation kink (SUPER sexist degradation). HAS ANYONE SEEN FATHER PAUL? I HAVE SINS TO CONFESS.

Dahlia lies awake, her head on James's chest, listening to his heartbeat. She's been awake for hours. They had burgers and beers on the beach while the sun set. It was light and easy. Dahlia didn't feel pressure to be anyone else but herself. James did that cute little nose scrunch that he does when he laughs, and he did it a lot. He's so much softer when he's with her. She can see his walls coming down, and she can feel it within herself, too. James makes her feel safe, and yet, there's something dangerous that ignites a beautiful thrill within her.

The way he looked at her tonight as they were cleaning up and heading back inside made her heart stop. She knew that look. There was something vulnerable about his eyes and the way he refused to break eye contact with her. There's a loneliness about James that ebbs and flows when he looks at her. Tonight, it was gone, replaced with something warm that made butterflies explode in her stomach. Dahlia felt her throat tighten with fear, because she feels the same way. At least, she thinks that's what he feels. It's hard to tell with him. Maybe he just wanted to fuck her, but she knows what that looks like. This was something different.

And now it's the middle of the night and she still can't stop thinking about that look, or the way it made her feel. She can't stop thinking about the way he makes her feel.

She looks up at him. His head has rolled to the side, plump lips parted as he breathes softly. He's asleep. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. The crease between his eyebrows disappears and his face looks soft and boyish. Dahlia looks at the clock. It's 2:30am. Her mind has been spinning out all night. She's been drifting in and out of sleep, only to be pulled back to consciousness by her own whirling thoughts.

This nagging feeling in the back of her mind won't go away, and she doesn't know what to do or who to talk to about it. She kisses his chest and slowly creeps out of bed, grabbing her phone off of the nightstand. Dahlia pads into the bathroom and sits on the edge of the tub. Her eyes feel puffy and exhausted. Her body hurts, the ache of sleeplessness rests deep in her bones. She opens up the texting app and taps on Wanda's name.

She's afraid to name this feeling. It's so fast.

Her stomach is in knots. The way he looks at her is... she can tell he's starting to feel it too. Maybe he already does. How fast is too fast?

Wanda, I think I'm in love with James.

"No," she whispers. "I can't. I can't tell her."

Then she has to talk about it. Out loud. And acknowledge her feelings.

Dahlia deletes the text and groans, putting her phone down on the edge of the tub and resting her chin on the palms of her hands.

"Fuck."

This feeling is trapped in her chest. She has to get it out. It can't sit here forever, consuming her. She can't tell James, it would be too much of a risk, and it's fucking crazy. What if he doesn't feel the same way? Dahlia picks up her phone and pulls up the number for her dad.

I think I'm falling in love and I don't know what to do. I miss you; I wish you were here to talk me through this. You'd like him. He's really good to me.