The Autumn Prince

59. Fear and Wonder

The three of us talked for half an hour, catching up on everything except minor details—like being cured, discovering I was more fairy than human, and had unintentionally subjugated three women with my newfound magic powers. By the time I hung up, I felt better than I had in ages and berated myself again for not doing it sooner.

"Do you miss them?" A small voice asked after I lowered the phone. Amy sat behind me, cross-legged on the bed. I lacked the strength to feel surprised.

"Yeah, I do. They were exactly what I needed at the time."

"And now?"

"They're the closest thing I've ever had to a family. It's funny, the day CPS dropped me off Mason said he didn't know what the hell they expected him to do with a white kid. Tracy was the exact opposite. She turned patience into a superpower. Made me feel like I belonged. Their house was the first place I ever considered a home."

Amy smiled softly. "How did you end up there?"

"Pure luck. Tracy couldn't have children, and they didn't have the money to adopt, so they started taking in foster kids." I sighed and slipped the phone back into my front pocket. "It feels like a lifetime ago."

"A lot has happened since then."

"I guess it has."

"You might be interested to know that I may have possibly overheard the others on my way up here."

"You mean you were eavesdropping?"

"If you want to be technical about it. I just thought you'd like to hear that their families are okay too."

I sighed my relief. "Thanks."

"Just doing my sneaky little part to help. Do you know where you're going from here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Rachel was pretty adamant about taking the fight to Caratacos."

I laughed ruefully. "Do you really think any of us would survive that?"

"I think you have a good chance. As good as anyone."

"I wish I had your confidence. I mean great, I'm Fae, I have weird abilities, but what can I do against my dad? He has all the same tools and I'm not willing to use them the way he does. What does that leave me with?"

"Caratacos is alone, Tom, you're not."

I grimaced, "I'm not putting the people I care about between him and me."

"That's not what I meant." She stood up and walked across the bed until she was only a foot away. "Your dad uses people up. He thinks destroying his victims gives him power."

I rubbed my chest, reliving the memory of a crushed ribcage.

"But he's wrong," Amy concluded.

"Is he? I was just a few feet from him when he poisoned Gloria and all I could do was watch."

"I know," she said sympathetically, then her expression flattened, her eyes grew distant, and I knew she was revisiting her own horrors. "But you were stronger than he thought you were. What you went through would have driven most people insane."

I'd spent most of my life within the walls of madness, and I wasn't sure I agreed with her. Horrifying things happened to people all over the world and they survived them, became productive and happy people, and most of them without the benefit of psychotherapy or antidepressants. I told her as much.

"You're not paying attention," she shook her head, "it's not your experience with mental illness that got you through that night. He meant to break you, but he didn't. He couldn't. Why do you think that was?"