If Only I Could Read The Stars

CHAPTER 6

'Run!' That was the first thing my instinct said.

Einar was looking at me more frightened than I had ever seen him. He could not understand what was going on, but I couldn't tell him yet.

I was completely shocked. My brain blocked for a while, I could not do nor say anything. I was completely petrified; staring blankly at the leafless bush in which I saw the danger. Einar was looking at me like he could not believe his eyes and shook me scared. That was the moment I woke to reality. As he was pulling his hands away from me, I could feel his strong perfume, the nicest scent I've ever smelled.

'Lena... Lena, what's wrong?', he said, visibly worried. My whole being had wrapped up in guilt.

Einar had just opened up in front of me. I felt that connection, I felt those heartbeats. I felt everything. Telling him the truth would have just destroyed the trust I had gained. I miserably carried on like nothing had happened.

'Oh, it's just so cold here, isn't it? Why don't we go somewhere inside to have some warm drinks and talk more about everything?'

He narrowed his eyes; he didn't believe me. He glanced suspiciously and said:

'Are you sure everything is alright?'

I swallowed hard and nodded.

'Ok, then. Let's go!' he finally said.

He slowly got up from the bench and offered me a helping hand to do the same. We started walking together through the millions of snowflakes flying all around. The only thing I could see clearly was him, but I believe this is going to happen no matter the weather from now on.

As we were getting closer to the bushes, I realized I had forgotten my phone on the bench.

'I think I forgot something, wait a second, I'm coming back quickly' and I went to take it.

At first, I thought it got lost through the puddle of snowflakes, deposited on the bench after we got up. I started rummaging around, just like I do in my dad's shelves when he cannot find photos, but it was all in vein. I started panicking. It was untraceable. All the conversations, all the diary pages I did not have the trust to write on paper, everything about the past, present and the future were recorded in there. I didn't remember if I even closed my phone after reading that message.

"5:45pm, Ivan

Lena, dear, Lena, is there anything I can't find out?"

The pair of eyes I had seen a few minutes before and the message I had read flashed in front of my eyes for a moment and realization hit me: I left Einar behind me. My bad gut made me quickly turn around.

My heart started shivering and beating faster than it ever had. He was not there anymore, Einar had completely disappeared.

The park was empty, I was there all alone. The sun was slowly starting to set down and the snowflakes were beginning to stop their dance.

I was completely surrounded by danger. My legs no longer needed commands, they started acting without asking.

'EINAR! EINAR!'

Tears full of pain began to flow from my eyes. It was all my fault... if I hadn't come back for my phone, if I hadn't brought him there... he wouldn't have disappeared.

'EINAAAR!'

The park was surrounded by silence. Nothing. No- 'Lena, where are you?', no- 'Lena, I'm here.' No anything. He was gone. Madly gone. There was nothing more I could have done there.

Darkness began to settle all around me. The horizon was beginning to turn into the color of my soul-black- because there was no reason for it to be colorful anymore. The sky stopped crying so there would be enough tears left for me. I passed by the place where we first met, but why would you remember if you can no longer relive?

My heavy steps didn't want me to walk back home. I was feeling like I had to the long way home.And so I did. I walked by the downtown.

The neighborhood was terrifying, almost like the center of the city was abandoned. All the lights were off, the city was no longer lit. The only people I could see from afar were two teenagers fighting in between the blocks of flats. The wind brought a smell close to me, it was tickling my nose, almost like I had smelt it before. And I knew...

I wiped all my tears away and started running towards those boys. As I got closer, I started seeing them better.

'LENA!' and that powerful and hoarse voice made me stop running. I was blankly staring at him. Horror settled on my face. He started walking towards me, my brain was telling me to run away, but I couldn't, I was paralyzed. I was seeing him walking on his way to catch me. I was seeing my future flash by, but I couldn't do anything, I was stuck.

Suddenly, he fell down. But he didn't. He was knocked to the ground.

'Lena!' and that sweet sound was the only voice that could reassure me.