That's not me..this is me.. / Captain Puffy x !ftm oc

- Chapter 3 -

not really a tw but just incase : it's shark week WOOHOO /s also dysphoria and coming out almost i guess idk k bye have fun

I hovered over the 'call' button. This is going to be a terrible idea isn't it. Deciding to send a message to him first, just to check he was awake, I started typing.

PebbledPandas
Morning! I just wanted to check if you're awake before calling.
If that's ok
I wanted to talk to you about something
it's decently important.

I internally hit myself over the head after I realised I'd been block texting them. Why can't I just put everything I want to say into one message? My stomach dropped as they started typing

Eret🏳️‍🌈
Hiii!
I'm awake, call me whenever you need!

Relieved they weren't upset, I pressed call. She answered instantly. "Morning d/n! How are you?" I shivered from the uncomfortable setting, not from him of course. "I'm alright, but could you call me by my online name, my legal one kind of just, makes me uncomfortable I guess" I practically would've seen the lightbulb go off over their head, had I have been there. "Ohh, yeah of course, I can do that. Why'd you call?" I started fidgeting with my hands as I answered. "I'm not gonna be one of those people who are just clueless about everything and delay it all as much as possible. I want help with this." They nodded as he turned his camera on. I did the same. "How do you know if you're not like, comfortable with your own gender?" He looked as if he was digging for an answer. "Mind elaborating?"

"I guess I could say it's more an uncomfortable feeling being a girl. My dad called me a girl yesterday and it didn't feel right. It just felt, disgusting in a way. Almost like he wasn't talking about me. Then I woke up this morning and everything feminine just, stuck out I guess is the only way I would put it" She looked at me sympathetically. "Would you say you could be trans, but you don't want to admit it?" I subconsciously nodded "Wait no- um..yeah no I think you're right, I could be. It's just my family that I'm scared to tell is why I feel like I'm denying it"
"We're all getting in a VC later to discuss a meet up, maybe talking with everyone will make you feel better. Not about this of course, talking to me must've been hard enough by itself. I don't want to assume things but I think you could be trans, or under the umbrella. If you had to pick a gender that wasn't female, what would you say fits you?"
"I've thought about it, I want to be a boy, but my family would absolutely hate me."
"That's settled then. You shouldn't care what your family think of you. If they don't support you that's on them, and it's not right to kick out a boy from his house."

that felt right..

"Yeah..that felt right y'know.."
"What? Me calling you a boy?"
"Yeah. I like it" I said, smiling. He smiled too and helped me decide on a name. We'd been in VC for about 2 hours, and I'd been able to decide that I was definitely transgender. Which sucked, because I had to hide it all from my parents, which probably wouldn't work, they'd find out eventually. The upside was I now got to pick a name!

The names online were all really good, however I was struggling to find one that I felt suited me. "I think I might think about it for a while. I don't think any of these suit me" Eret nodded, "That's alright! Let me know when you find one. We're all joining a VC later today, keep your phone on loud and I'll call you when it starts. They think it's gonna be about 1pm my time. So 4pm for you if that's right" I smiled, "That's fine. My parents aren't home til about 8 or 9 tonight, I'll see you later, thanks again!" We said our goodbyes and I disconnected from the call.

I wonder where the meet-up would be..

I got up from my desk to go shower and there was a red mark on the chair.
fucking perfect. Just what I needed