ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

45

"Okay."

He disappeared in the corner of my eye before walking out with Rylan and his back pack in his hand.

I plated the pancakes and slid them onto the counter. Then a plate for Khyson. I smiled at him before he began to cut Rylans breakfast into smaller pieces.

God, he would be such a good dad.

"Plans?" Khyson asked.

"Probably just gonna get some groceries." He nodded while sipping some of Rylans orange juice down.

"We should get going, come on buddy." He led Rylan to the door before they were gone as soon as I could say bye.

-

"Tell Khyson goodnight." I held Rylan over my shoulder before he said goodnight with sleepy eyes.

I tucked him under his covers and kissed his forehead.

"Mama?"

"Yeah."

"Is Khyson gonna live here?" He stared up at me with innocent doe eyes.

"No, baby, why? Do you want him to?"

"Yeah, he's really nice and when he drives me back from school he gets us McDonald's but don't tell him I told you. He's funny." He smiled. Rylans never smiled that wide for William.

"I'll tell him how much you love him, okay." I nodded while smoothing my hand over his head.

He nodded before leaning his head up, I lifted my head down so his lips pecked my cheek. I let him doze off and walked out, closing his door and making my way into the kitchen.

"Got anything to drink?"

"Other than juice?" He added.

"Coke?"

"You know me so well." He smiled.

I filled a glass with ice as I felt his eyes burning into my back, then pouring some from the bottle into the glass.

"Here." I slid it to him over the counter. He grabbed the glass and leaned back in his spot. I placed my elbows on the quartz and leaned forward. He suddenly set the glass down and reached into his pocket. I furrowed my brows as he pulled out a small pice of paper. I let my eye focus on object as he placed it down.

It was the picture I had given him two nights ago. He tapped his index finger on the photo. I adverted my eyes to us, teenagers, the blue of the caps and gowns engulfing the picture.

"What?" I asked softly.

"You remember that night?" He leaned back and spoke.

"Do you?"

I feared he'd ask, I knew giving him the photo was a bad idea. I couldn't have this conversation with him, I physically couldn't because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep myself together.

"I asked you first." I held the eye contact before I felt my stomach twist and I forced myself to stare down.

"I remember our grad, yeah, who wouldn't." I smiled. I knew he wanted more than that, the night.

"Grad." He dragged on.

"What else do you remember, Ariya?" He now leaned forward so our faces were a couple inches apart.

"I don't know." I chuckled.

"I think you do."

"Khyson?" I laughed nervously, watching his lips never once falter.

"What do you mean?" I asked softly.

He gently pushed his chair back and walked around the island, coming beside me. He grabbed the photo off the counter and showed it to me.

"Do you remember what we talked about?" He asked.

"How about I let you stay over.. one last time, huh?" He bargained.

"I don't think so." I shook my head.

"Why'd you leave, Ariya.. Not even a letter." He shrugged, bracing his palm on the counter. His eyes pierced into my soul. I waited for him to say something, anything.

He'd probably been waiting years to have this conversation. I didn't want to think about all the pain I put him through because I knew it was all my fault.

"Khyson-" I tried.

"I just want an answer, please." He placed his index finger on my chin, gently tugging my head up to look at his own.

"I-that night was the best night of my life, Khyson."

His thumb came up to run itself down my bottom lip. I watched his gaze flicker on my lips.

"I understand that you wanted to leave but.. after what we shared I-you just up and left." I could see his reddened eyes.

Khyson never cried.

"Please don't make me do this." My voice begged him. My hands shaking at my side.

"I woke up, happy to see you.. one last time. Watch you go and make something out of yourself. Instead I woke up to a cold bed sheet beside me."

"I know I hu-"

"It hurt so damn much, Ariya."

"Khyson, I didn't mean to hurt you. You know how I felt? I watched you sleeping peacefully on that goddamn bed, watching the smile on your lips. I didn't wanna face you, Khyson. I needed to leave, because I knew-"

"What?"

"I knew I wouldn't have left if I had."

I hadn't realized when our faces accumulated so evidently close. I could feel his breath on my lips, making my stomach knot.

I stared into his eyes, trying to decipher how he was feeling.

He pulled my chin in.

Connected our lips.

I couldn't go back from here, I couldn't keep going on with hope for me and William. I couldn't keep hiding this from Khyson. Khyson was my person.

"I need to ask you something, Ariya." He panted between the kisses.

I ran my hand over his wrist, feeling the black hair tie he always had upon it.

"No, I need to tell you something, Khyson." I breathed.

"R-"

"What the fuck!"

We both whipped our heads to the side to see William standing in the doorway.

With flowers in his hand.

Along with a small back box..