You Must Know The Darkness To Appreciate The Light

🔆🌙 Chapter 23? 🔆🌙

As the days passed, my dread for the wedding grew even more.

I had not seen the Darkling since he had so rudely locked me alone in here, and the stack of finished puzzles, twice read books and even a doomed quilting project had piled up throughout my room throughout the week.

I had been allowed a fair share of activities to keep me entertained, but no human contact. Servants brought my meals and things, but kept their eyes to the ground and didn't speak to me. It wasn't the worst punishment, of course, as I could have been in the damp, dark cells of the dungeons.

I was worried I would go mad if I was kept in here even one more day with no one to talk to, and with everyday that passed I spent alone, the wedding got closer and the walls began to feel as if they were closing in on me, suffocating me slowly.

I watched the sun stream through the windows, casting interesting patterns on the carpeted floor as I sat cross-legged on the sofa, tapping a pencil on my knee and surrounded by half-filled sketchbooks flung carelessly about, trying to distract myself from the knowledge that in two short weeks I would be...Mrs. Darkling?

I am absolutely never going to be called that. I would settle for being called Queen of Ravka, if I could get through the wedding. I supposed that once the crown was placed on my head, I would be able to stand my husband, at least until I could kill him. The real trial was putting up with him until then.

A knock sounded on the door and I realized I had been staring off into space, leaving dots of graphite on my page as I tapped my pencil in thought. I glanced at the clock, it was noon on the dot, which meant a servant was here with my midday meal. "Come in."

The door creaked open as my pencil ran rough shapes over my sketchbook, searching for a subject to capture.

The servant placed the tray on the table next to me and I thanked them, still lost in thought. "What are you thinking about?"

"Hm?" I glanced up briefly and noticed the servant was actually an oprichnik. An opricknik with wild strawberry blonde curls, freckles and emerald eyes, grinning from ear to ear. "Tima!"

I jumped up from the couch and flung myself into his arms, nearly knocking him into the ground. He caught me and steadied himself, laughing all the while. "I missed you, Li."

"I missed you, too." It was true, I had missed having a friendly face around, other than Genya.

He pulled away from me and studied my face. "You look...different. I mean, you look good, very good, I didn't mean you look bad, just really different. But good." He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "So, um, why's your hair white?"

I laughed and ran my fingers over a strand. Leave it to Tima to unabashedly ask questions. "Well, this is what happens when you mess with Merzost."

"Murder?"

"Merzost, Tima. It's magic, an abomination, forbidden to use. It's like our power but much, much stronger and uncontrollable."

He scrunched up his face. "So, you messed with illegal black magic and now your hair is white? That sounds reasonable."

I supposed I didn't fully understand myself why using Merzost had taken the color from my hair and how odd it could sound to an otkazats'ya who hadn't been taught Grisha theory. I shrugged. "It's a long story, and very boring." I leaned in and whispered like it was a secret. "Trust me, I had to sit through classes when I first came to the Little Palace."

He laughed again, a beautiful, light sound, like sunshine on a spring day, and my heart hurt a little. Would he still be my friend after I killed the General he was sworn to protect? Would I ever seen him again? I didn't know what I would do with my future, but I would enjoy my time with him now, while I could.