When I see you again...

Chapter 2 - Why am I Crying?

A week passed by after that certain incident took place. I still couldn’t explain nor did I understand the reason behind it. It still felt like yesterday to me. Every time I tried to remember her face, I seem to get lost in the back of my head. I forget about everything around me, but still can’t remember the only thing I’m trying to. All that I do remember is her fragrance that filled the hallway and her black hairs that shined in the sunlight coming through the window.

On one of the sunday morning I had a dream. It haunted me, as it felt so real. And to my surprise it was just the beginning. 

I was sitting on a bench in the midst of the trees in a park. Just across the road there was a coffee shop. Although it was just a dream the place felt very familiar, almost as if it was a vision from my memory. 

As I sat there admiring the scenery around me, I felt a gentle touch on the back of my hand. I turned my head and there she was, staring at the grey sky. I tried to get a glimpse of her face when I suddenly recognised the oversized hoodie which I apparently lost during my camping trip.

“I’m happy that you’re okay.” She said as she looked away. “I wish we weren’t such a mess and I could stay with you for longer. But perhaps it’s a chance for me to finally make things right. I promise you... when I see you again...” Although her words described how happy she was, her voiced couldn’t help but expose the pain inside her.

As I was almost lost in the beautiful scene that almost felt like it was out of a movie, I felt a drop of water fall on my hand. She slowly turned towards me when a gust of wind blew right towards me. I flinched for a second but quickly opened my eyes to finally catch a glimpse of her smile. It was beautiful but I felt as if it was hiding something; hiding the pain that she was feeling inside. I slowly raised my head to look at her when heavy rain started to pour dissolving everything there was and leaving me in an endless dark room with the floor covered with water. “Hello? Anyone here?” I cried. I was scared. I started running towards the never ending nothingness hoping to find an exit. I wanted to reach the end but there was nothing but emptiness, all dark and gloomy. The water started to rise up.

I was almost about to drown when woke up from the dream gasping and panting, drenched in sweat. I finally took a breath of relief. I was happy that I escaped the nightmare but also sad as I still didn’t have any answers, rather only more questions. I tried, tried to recollect the bits and pieces of the dream, her voice, and her smile but every time I tried to remember her face. I couldn’t. As I sat there pulling my hairs I felt something roll off my cheeks. I climbed down my bed and looked into the mirror only to find out that, I was crying. Crying as I could feel nothing at all. All there was, and all that I could feel was the emptiness that was in my chest. My heart ached but I couldn’t scream. I tried whipping my tears off but they just kept flowing… My voice cracked as I asked myself “Why am I Crying?”

Why am I Crying?