Just this once | Kazuha × Scaramouche

Chapter 17 - Kunikuzushi's will

*Scaramouche POV*
*During the night*

Kazuha and I decided to risk staying the night in this cave. We both agreed that if we die, we'll decide our last few actions over what we want, not what we need to do to survive. We left to get some berries and fish a bit, but came back as soon as possible. This place is very beautiful, I get why Yae comes here often.

The night was long. Kazuha was sleeping. It looked easy for him, falling asleep. How I hope I could be like him.

As for me, I couldn't sleep. Like every night. I had a lot of difficulty falling asleep so it is definitely harder when being worked up about if people are going to arrive and kill us during the night.

I may have said I wanted to give up on life, I guess I still have the will to live. That's probably because of Kazuha, though.

The lifetime I spent wandering Inazuma and other places didn't fulfill me as much as these few weeks I spent with Kazuha. I would love it if all that lost time was time I spent with him, instead. He's the one that taught me how to have feelings other than happiness and anger. He's the one that taught me what it was like to care for someone, to protect, to feel guilty, to feel sad...

...to love.

He is much more carefree than me, as he doesn't mind giving up on life. And even though I say I'm ready, I don't want it to end.

My throat is stuck, my heart heavy.

How much would I give for Kazuha's life? Just where would I go to see him, smiling again without any hint of sadness?

I couldn't help but cry. These last few days have been really hard for both of us. But I'd say I had more feelings in a couple of days than I have in all of my life.

My eyes started to close. I decided that resting could do me some good.

Memories again.

I saw them better this time. It was a boy, shorter than me by a bit. His name still doesn't come to mind.

I laid on the small bench made of tree branches. Seems I still couldn't sleep at the time.

He, too, couldn't sleep. I saw him get up and look at the window. I got up to join him.

"Oh, so you're awake, too!"

I nodded. Guess I wasn't too big on the small talk.

"Silent as ever, huh? Well, I am not silent at all, so you'll have to live through this.", he exclaimed.
"...I noticed."

He looked at me, almost furious, and laughed right after.

"Seriously, if the only time you'll talk is only to annoy me or something, you'd better go. I mean, you may want any kind of company, but I want nice company."

I couldn't tell if he was always joking and being sarcastic or just oddly blunt.

"Do you want me to leave?", I asked him.
"No, not at all! Unless you want to leave, though."
"Hm."

We stayed there, looking at the sun rising.

"Hey, we don't know each other well, so mind telling me about yourself?"