The Last Handful of Clover - Book 2: Gifts Both Light and Dark

2.38 Spiraling

As she looked at him in the bed, he knew it was obvious that he wasn't feeling prepared to face the day. But, bless her soul, she still gave him one of her best smiles.

"Good morning, Pea. How are you feeling about going back today?"

He forced a smile that he hoped equaled hers. "Okay, I guess," he lied. "It should be a fairly quiet day. Probably a good day for me to make my grand re-entrance."

"Either that," Michelle said with a giggle. "Or we could just stay here." She quickly crossed to the bed, and crawled under the covers with him, pulling the blanket up to her chin. "I think a day in bed watching episodes of the Golden Girls would be exactly what you and I need. What do you say?"

The face she made was so goofy that Keith couldn't help but laugh. "Sure. It would be like all those days in my senior year, before you went on your mission. When we'd buy a bag of gummy bears and lock ourselves in your room all day."

She laughed. "Remember how my mom was so sure we were up to something? When you finally came out, I think she was disappointed. I guess she was hoping for some little Woos for grandkids."

"Mickey Woo and Daisy Woo!" they said together in unison, remembering the names they'd jokingly made up for their theoretical offspring, many years ago.

"You would have been a wonderful mother," Michelle said.

"And you'd have been the best Daddy Mickey and Daisy could ever hope for." Keith added, before they both burst out laughing. Keith raised his arm, and Michelle snuggled in against him, the way they had snuggled back in high school.

When they stopped giggling, Michelle was strangely quiet for a minute, biting absently on a fingernail. And Keith looked at the top of her head, lying cradled on his chest. He heard the toaster pop downstairs, and the sound of Pil putting a plate on the counter.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back?" Michelle asked.

"I think I have to," he said after a pause. "I need to break out of this spiral I'm in." She put a hand around his chest and pulled him tightly against her. "I had terrible dreams last night. If I don't get back to some kind of normal life, I'm afraid things are only going to get worse."

"I understand that," Michelle said. And Keith believed that she probably did.

He sighed, and his gaze fell across the window. It was still gray outside, but the even glow of the sky had finally dispelled most of the morning shadows. As he watched, the first few drops of rain splattered against the window.

"It's starting slow, but I think it's going to rain hard today. How about if we drive you up to the University?"

"That's sweet. And yeah, that would be great." He took in a deep breath, and when he let it out, he pulled the cover up over both their heads. "Although all I really want to do is stay here in bed all day. Getting up seems a bit harder every morning. Why did I agree to go back to work?"

Under the covers, she punched him lightly in the side. "You said it yourself. It's good for you. Normal life, and all that."

"I know. I just... I hope it gets easier."

Michelle pulled the covers back off their faces and leaned up on her elbow. She put a hand on Keith's chest and looked into his eyes. "Really? It's not getting any easier at all?"

"I don't know. It's hard to describe. It's like..." He stopped, not having any idea how he could describe what he was feeling.

"Go on, honey. Tell me."

"I wish I could. I guess it's like I'm sinking slowly into something. Something ugly. I don't know if it's obsession over Richard's death, or something else. It almost feels like a fantasy world or something."