Corrupted Dreams

Unsolved Problems

Cas let his hands fall from my eyes. Lids fluttering open, I beheld Cas sitting back up, still on top of me. His fingers grazed the bottom of my shirt, slipping underneath the fold to press lightly on my bare skin "What are you doing?" He never responded, lips slightly parted, and eyes fully engaged with his work. Next it was his whole hand to delve under my armor, each finger creating its own bulge in the fabric. They ran up the course of my abs, feeling the muscled hills of my stomach. My shirt got caught on his wrist, dragging up as his hand crept over my chest. Cas' hand stopped, so his fingers could stroke the bottom of one of my pecs. He hummed, lifting my shirt all the way to reveal the fullness of my chest.

"You know," he began mild play on the surface of my pecs, watching as his fingers indented the plush surface. "After I fell into you the other day, I couldn't get the feel of your chest out of my head for hours." A small smile was on his lips as he gave one of my pecks a light squeeze. "You've suddenly become quiet." His eyes locked on mine, hands still moving. "Does that mean you like it?"

Grunting, I turned my head to the side, secretly focusing on the feel of his finger tips. "Are you finished?"

"Not quite." I closed my eyes as fingers were replaced with lips, the sweet kisses making my blood thrum. He even went as far as to lick my collar bone. "Mmm..." Cas nuzzled his face into my chest, inhaling and exhaling against my skin.

When he pulled away, I glanced up at him without turning my head back forward. "Will you let me go now?" He never responded, choosing instead to proceed with actions rather than words. Cas combed back some hair behind my ear, gripping my chin lightly to turn my head back. Then he held my cheek with a fragile grip that soon turned firm. Staring down at me with brilliant ruby eyes, Cas leaned down for a kiss.

His lips brushed mine, the movement so minior I wasn't sure if I imagined it or not. "Shirou?" He kept his lips half a centimeter from mine. "Will you let me kiss you?"

I let his breath settle in the air before speaking. "It doesn't really seem like I have much of a choice now, does it?" I wiggled my bound arms for emphasis. After I spoke, I could hear Cas doing something, though his eyes never unlatched from mine. Pressure released from my arms as the roots crumbled.

"There, now you have a choice." I rotated my wrist now that they were free. Cas simply waited, not for me to speak, for me to move. I moved to reject him, but as I laid my hands on his slight curve of his waist, I never pushed. Cas began, pressing his lips to mine, the touch still malleable for any objection I might have. Panic infected my veins. Though the sense in my head told me no, my body said yes with Cu Chulainn's lips molding mine. Cas strengthened the kiss, moving against my mouth with a sweet passion, and I accepted it, gripping him tighter.

He deepened the kiss, combing his lips over mine in a relentless pleasure. I felt his tongue brush against the slight opening of my lips, testing the water before diving in. The man hummed and my hands roamed over his back and hips. With my submission to his mouth, he sucked all he could from the kiss before pulling away.

After licking his lips, Cas bit the bottom one, looking down at me with a tilted head. "What?" I asked.

"I just... he began moving off me. "Never expected you to be such a good kisser."

Mm, it was an odd thing to say to stop the moment. Sitting up, I fixed my hair with a hand. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I didn't expect you to be that good for a man who doesn't want me."

I grunted, sitting up and turning my head to the horizon. His gaze was still on me, burning my cheeks. "By the way," he continued. "I was serious about letting me deal with Setanta. I don't want to put a dent between the two of you."

"No, I can talk to him myself. He'll be kinder if I come up front and be honest."

Cas just hummed, then silence set in. It was a good fifteen minutes before there was speaking again. "So, did you like the kiss?" He asked.

"It was kind of hard not to." I spared him a glance, the comment making him smile slightly. Cas scooted himself closer, resting against me with a sigh.

"I don't want to go back to Chaldea."

"Hm? Why?"

"I thought that much would be obvious. Because here we're in a gray area, and Chaldea means you're with Setanta—"

"—And not with you?" He tightened his lips, nuzzling his head deeper into my shoulder. "Well we have to deal with this problem, Cas, and the first step is going back to Chaldea."

"Mm, funny how me and my feelings have become a problem to be solved." His words were drenched in melancholy, bitter to the ear. "A problem I don't want to be solved." I hated the tone of his voice. Here I was trying to be rational with the situation, and he was just attaching himself to my side like a wounded puppy, trying to make me feel sorry for him.

"Stop pouting Cas," I shook him off my shoulder. "You have to own up to this." I shook my head. "As much as I want to help, you can't just come and kiss me whenever you feel like it, wishing I'd magically become yours! This is a problem, and you have to deal with it." I could feel the headache coming back.

His eyes were blank as they stared into mine, then they fell to the floor. "I understand, and I'm sorry for putting you in this position." He gave a drawn out sigh. "I'm going to go to bed." Reaching over, he stroked his hand across my cheek, then replaced it with his lips, caressing a light kiss there. "Good night, Shirou." He stood up. "I'm sorry to be such a burden."

"That's not what I meant, you're not a burden. Hey, Cas—" He cut my sentence off with the close of the door. I stared at the simple metal cut for a minute before growling and pinching the bridge of my nose. The empty look in his eyes as he walked away still pained my chest. Every moment with him felt unsure, both wrong and right co-existing with one another. Everything here had been chaotic and flimsy, which made me yearn for Setanta's stern arms even more. "Maybe I need to stop pouting, too."

Sighing, I dragged a hand over my face and through my hair, laying back down on the cement roof to look at the sky. There wasn't a full set of stars out tonight. That was one thing that bothered me about the cities, with all the smog and lights, most of the stars were hidden in the black of the sky. My mind traveled back to standing and looking at the stars in the army camp with Setanta. It was a nice memory, along with all the other's we spent there. It seemed like coming out of Ireland, we've had one dilemma after the next, even in the times we think things have calmed down.

Grunting, I washed the next thoughts out of my mind. Cas was right on one thing, I shouldn't think of him and his feelings as a problem. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel like a burden and unloved. I released a long breath up into the night air. Well, one more night, and we'll be back in Chaldea, then we'll see what the future has for us.